Don't Try This At Home

This Place is Going to the Dogs

By Bob on May 11, 2009 6:00 AM


I took our dog to the veterinarian today for his Spring check up.  To be perfectly honest, he's not really my dog.  He's our son Cole's dog.  But now that Cole's off at college, Spike has become my dog.  I don't know who's more disappointed in this turn of events - the dog or me.

"Spike" is a terrier mix who's only claim to fame is that he's about 90 in dog years.  If he keeps going much longer, Willard Scott will give him a Smucker's Shout Out on "The Today Show."  I can't wait. 

"Well, what's 90 in dog years?" I say, realizing as the words leave my mouth that I am now making no sense at all. 


Willard would probably say something very Willard-like.

"Spike is 100 years old today," Willard would enthuse to the millions watching at home.  I would turn to Charlotte and beam with pride.

"Spike enjoys peeing on the fence, sleeping 18 hours a day and sniffing anything that's put in front of him.  He says the secret to a long life is not eating dairy and chewing a daily Dentabone for fresh breath."  How Williard would work in a plug for Smuckers is problematic, but he's been in tougher jams.

I am the default pet parent, but Charlotte and Cole worry that I might be only one step above the local animal shelter so they keep a close eye on things. 

I try to watch out for our patriarchal pooch.  I really do.  It's just that I'm not the best pet parent.  The minute I walk Spike into the exam room I peg out the veterinarian's BS meter and begin blowing my cover.  

 I resist the urge to know once and for all if a dog's mouth really is cleaner than a human's.


"No thanks," I say passing on the dental exam.  I make a solemn vow to brush Spike's teeth as soon as we get home.  The vet rolls his eyes as if to say he's heard that one before.

I also turn down the "senior dog exam."  Another eye-roll.

"Well, he is about 90," the veterinarian stresses.  I can sense the concern in her voice. 

"Well, what's 90 in dog years?" I reply, realizing as the words leave my mouth that I am now making no sense at all. 

"I think we'll go with the shots for now."  Spike, who is now resigned to lying on the exam table, doesn't flinch when the injections come. 

"Any questions?" the vet asks. 

I resist finding out once and for all if a dog's mouth really is cleaner than a human's.  There's no need for them to brand me as a wise ass AND a bad pet parent.Spike 2.jpg

I place Spike in his kennel and heave it into the SUV. Spike looks at me with that goofy dog grin that even I can't resist.  I make a mental note to email "The Today Show" when we get home.

Willard's gonna love Spike.  I just know it.

Red Thong Strong: Girlfriends Little Secrets to Smoothing Lifes Panty Lines
Guest Room

Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

ChickenBurritoBowlEverydayDiabetes 600.jpg

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

Continue Reading »

Playing Favorites

Windy City

It's been almost 18 years since Alison Krauss gave us a solo album, but the wait is over with Windy City. The release (her fifth solo studio album) features ten covers of classic songs (and some bonus tracks) she picked with producer Buddy Cannon.

Continue Reading »

Follow Us

Follow us on Twitter: @BoomerBrief 

and @CharlotteBoomer

Follow Charlotte on Pinterest:  Follow Me on Pinterest

Follow Bob on Pinterest

Know someone battling cancer? Baylor Health Care System's Sammons Says... cancer blog is a great place to go for help. Here, you'll find information, resources, physicians, support groups and just about everything you need to help you navigate your way through this illness.

Now Trending 

We Like These Sites 

Senior Forums is a great place to get the news and share views on everything from hobbies and healthcare, to food, family & travel. 

Matt Drudge gets the goods and his site ain't bad either.

The Huffington Post is the gold standard of political blogs.

You don't have to live in Dallas to enjoy D Magazine.

More →