Don't Try This At Home

I'm Too Sexy for My Text

By Bob on April 12, 2010 6:00 AM

Thumbnail image for Sexting.jpg Boomers, I read something the other day that scared the HELL out of me. 


No, it wasn't about ZOMBIES or IRANIAN NUKES (we all know they're at the very top of my WTF list).  This was much scarier. 


For some insane reason Boomers are "Sexting" each other. This of course, made me shout, ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? 


The guy beside me shot me a look like I was going for my Uzi. That of course is when I pretended to have a mild case of Tourette's. STEP AWAY FROM THE CRAZY MAN.


Works every time.


Sexting for the digitally uninitiated is using your cellphone to email naked photos of yourself to someone else.  The New York freakin' Times tells me it's all the rage from middle school kids to college students.  But, Boomers?  C'mon.   


What's Willie Nelson doing on Granny's phone? 


Not that we don't have some rockin' good bodies. I've seen you around the neighborhood.  Some of us could still pull off a sext here or there. But, is that really something you want your GRANDKIDS to see?


I can only imagine how that scenario plays out.




Granddaughter: Well, looks like that's everything.  I'll sure miss Granny.


Grandson: Me too. Hey, I think your cell phone is ringing. 


Granddaughter: Must be Granny's. Hey look, her phone has a photos folder.  There are probably family pictures we should email. 


Grandson: Check it out.


Granddaughter: OH...MY...GOD. 


Grandson: Is THAT what I think it is?


Granddaughter: It looks like he's wearing a tan cardigan sweater.


Grandson: That's no sweater, but he is pretty tan.


Granddaughter: Here's another one. What's Willie Nelson doing on Granny's phone?


Grandson: That's NOT Willie Nelson.


Granddaughter: But I see a beard...


Grandson: That's definitely NOT a beard!


Granddaughter: Ooooooooooooooohhhh.


...and scene.


See what I mean?


I know some of us remember the SUMMER OF LOVE and all that crap.  But, do we really want our kids and grandkids to run ice picks through their eyes because they found sexts on our phones? No, I think not.


All this Boomer sexting reminds me of a poster called What To Do In An Emergency. Especially #14 on the list. 


Any time you're tempted to reach out and sext someone, just remember that emergency tip.


No one wants to see that s***.



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Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

ChickenBurritoBowlEverydayDiabetes 600.jpg

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

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Windy City

It's been almost 18 years since Alison Krauss gave us a solo album, but the wait is over with Windy City. The release (her fifth solo studio album) features ten covers of classic songs (and some bonus tracks) she picked with producer Buddy Cannon.

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