Don't Try This At Home

BP Pay Me

By Bob on July 26, 2010 6:12 AM

Charlotte and I filed our damages claim with British Petroleum over a month ago. Boomers, it wasn't easy. BP makes you come up with YEARS of records just to recapture a dime of lost income.


You think the government is picky? Nah...send something to BP and I swear you'll hear Alice Cooper singing Welcome to my Nightmare while you wait on hold.


To file our claim we've dug through dusty boxes of even dustier tax returns. Rummaged through rental receipts. Burrowed for business licenses... We combed through so much old stuff that we probably crossed paths with that Indiana Jones-looking Egyptian guy from the History Channel.


Yeah, we dug THAT DEEP.


Check out this video for a first-hand look at the BP runaround.

Then read the conclusion after the jump.    


We bundled up everything and sent it to BP certified mail. And what has it gotten us? Bupkus (Etymology: Yiddish; probably short for kozebubkes, literally, goat droppings).


You're probably saying to yourself, *head shaking* That ol' Bob...boy can he exaggerate!


And you're right, I DO exaggerate. GOAT DROPPINGS would be something - which is more than BP has paid for our loss.


My favorite exchange was a recent phone call with a BP Claims Center employee:



A play (in what's looking like) Multiple Acts


BP GUY: We can't process your claim. Understand, I'm not saying we WON'T process your claim. It's just we need more information before we can move forward.


Me: So, lemme see. I mailed you three years of tax returns, three years of rental income receipts, my Gulf Shores, AL business license, a marketing flyer from the management company showing how much our place rents for in the summer and a color copy of my photo ID...what's missing?


BP GUY: We have a problem with your ID. It's all black and I can't read it.


Me: But I sent you a nice. Clean. Color. Copy. Why is it BLACK?


BP GUY: The BP main office scanned it. Copied it. And faxed it to me. That's why it's black.


Me: Ummm, OK. I'll be happy to send you another copy, but let me ask YOU a question.




Me: What makes you think the same people who SCANNED, COPIED and FAXED it to you the last time WON'T DO IT AGAIN?


...and scene


I'm telling you Boomers, I think the Coast Guard has this oil spill deal all wrong. That's not crude washing up in the Gulf.


It smells a lot like goat droppings.

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Guest Room

Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

ChickenBurritoBowlEverydayDiabetes 600.jpg

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

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Windy City

It's been almost 18 years since Alison Krauss gave us a solo album, but the wait is over with Windy City. The release (her fifth solo studio album) features ten covers of classic songs (and some bonus tracks) she picked with producer Buddy Cannon.

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