Don't Try This At Home

Street Seens

By Bob on June 6, 2011 4:00 AM

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Miss Charlotte and I just celebrated our 33rd anniversary in New York City.


I know what you're asking yourself internets, HOW COULD SHE STAY MARRIED TO HIM FOR 33 YEARS?


It's one of those questions kinda like if Elvis, Jim Morrison and Roy Orbison were in a Heavenly Band, who'd sing lead vocals? Some things, we'll just never know.


It'd been a while since we'd been to the Big Apple, so we had a good time getting reacquainted with Manhattan and some of its better known boroughs. In short order, we checked Brooklyn, the Bronx, SoHo, The Village, the Upper East and West Sides, Museum District, Theater District, Times Square and Central Park off our list.


And that was the FIRST DAY...I'm kidding.


We'd been to the BIG CITY before and gotten all the LOOK. AT. ALL. THE. TALL. BUILDINGS. out of our system, so there wasn't any burning desire to do hardcore touristy stuff. That doesn't mean we hung out in our room and watched mixed martial arts cage matches all day on pay-per-view (I vetoed Charlotte's request)...we got out and mingled with the fine folks of the largest city in America. Boy, did we mingle. Here are the highlights from our street seens...let's go to the videotape:


Grooming Trend You Never Thought You'd See Again

If you answered, "What is the Hitler moustache" you're correct! I had a mid-town Manhattan WTF moment when I saw a red headed guy at the corner of Broadway and 47th Street sporting one of these. I wasn't sure if he'd been one of those Boys-From-Brazil experiments gone horribly wrong, or he was just trying to get a reaction. Either way: CREEPED. ME. OUT. Sadly, no photos. I've seen Marathon Man and didn't want him to go all Laurence Olivier on me.



There's no line at the Gauguin nudes exhibit, let's go over there.



The Play's the Thing

Do yourself a favor and score some tickets to Born Yesterday and House of Blue Leaves. Yesterday is a revival of a Garson Kanin comedy featuring Jim Belushi and a hilarious, scene-stealing performance by Nina Arianda. Leaves features  View from the River Cafe-425.jpg                     The view from The River Cafe

an all-star cast with Ben Stiller in the lead and supporting actresses Edie Falco and Jennifer Jason Leigh. If you like your comedy on the dark side, then get in to see this one while you can. It's marvelous.


It's Good to be McQueen

We took in the Alexander McQueen exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum and Charlotte claimed it was one of the highlights of the trip. If you're a guy (show of hands?) then you need to know two things about this special exhibit: 1) Don't let the line throw you. It moves fast and the woman you're with will be pissed if you say something like, "There's no line at the Gauguin nudes exhibit, let's go over there;" and 2) Forget the couture on display and watch the people instead. I SWEAR I stood next to Marilyn Manson throughout the entire exhibit.

The Shoeless Ho in the Third Row

I've been to a coupla county fairs and seen a bear hit a baseball, but the 20-something woman sitting next to me at The House of Blue Leaves surprised me when she took off her stilettos and then crossed her legs so her bare feet were almost in my lap...ahh...the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd! 


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In a city that's famous for its food, you'll have no trouble finding something wonderful to eat. Our picks:



This SoHo bistro is famous for its pommes frites (French fries). Great place with an even better wine list.


The River Café

Probably our favorite. The view of the Manhattan skyline is spectacular and the food and service are even better. Save room for their signature dessert - a chocolate Brooklyn Bridge!

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La Masseria 

It's a little slice of Italian heaven right in the middle of the theater district. Fresh, homemade pasta and efficient but unobtrusive service - probably the best fettuccini I've ever eaten. Our friends, Jay and Becky recommended this restaurant to us and they did us a big favor.


I'll have more for you later...like how I met Amazon.com CEO and President Jeff Bezos and what he thought of my book Dead Men Don't Have Sex...our run-in with the Chili King of Brooklyn and the time we visited Kinky Friedman's not-so-fictional loft in The Village...you see, even after 33 years, we've got a lot more memories to make.


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Guest Room

Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

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By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

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Windy City

It's been almost 18 years since Alison Krauss gave us a solo album, but the wait is over with Windy City. The release (her fifth solo studio album) features ten covers of classic songs (and some bonus tracks) she picked with producer Buddy Cannon.

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