Guest Room

5 Tips to Help You Plan for Your Aging Parents

By Bob on August 15, 2012 4:14 AM

Tip 1: Start Planning Before A Crisis Hits!

The old, two-story bungalow was perfect 30 years ago; but over the years it has become too quiet, too big and too dangerous for your favorite 80-year-old to navigate. In addition, mom's heart condition sometimes makes her dizzy, she doesn't cook anymore and she readily admits that driving the old Chrysler wears her out.

But when one of the kids suggests it might be time to consider independent living or assisted living, the proud matriarch puts her foot down.

 

No way is Mom moving - she's not ready for a "home." Situations like this are not uncommon for adult children to face with their aging parents.

 

This family has actually wisely initiated the sometimes delicate and often difficult discussion with their beloved elder about concerns for her health, safety and happiness.

 

Even though it may feel pretty awkward, that's okay because the best time to evaluate mom's senior housing options is not after she falls and breaks a hip. The best time is right now before a crisis occurs, when she can participate in the evaluation and decision-making process in relation to the merits of independent or assisted living.

 

Tip 2: Find a Way to Start the Conversation

To avoid the worst scenario, families should talk to their aging parents or loved ones with care and sincerity. Gently suggest a visit to a friend who has already made the transition or lunch at any of several nearby independent living or assisted living facilities--her choice. If the parent shows total resistance, back off but don't give up.

 

When they do show a little willingness or bring up the topic, take action and try a drive-by or pop-in visit. Stack the deck by calling ahead for an appointment with an administrator or social worker. Also, visit at mealtime or during a social activity so Mom can see that modern senior housing is the farthest thing from the "home" of her fears.

 

Make sure to talk to them about their wants and needs as well. Though, their needs might change by the time they need care, their wants likely will not. What is their ideal location? What types of amenities and environment would they like? These questions are important for you to know, but also make them feel like you are taking their desires into consideration and that they haven't lost all control.

 

Tip 3: Form a Team

It is important for family members to form a team and present a united and loving front when it comes time to help Mom plan the next move, whether it's independent or assisted living. Many times it is also a good idea to enlist the help of respected physicians and counselors, when helping Mom understand the importance of avoiding crisis and trauma.

 

These professionals can often successfully underscore the family's concerns about independent or assisted living. They may also be able to help the senior and family envision different scenarios in terms of financing this transition or presenting the benefits of a multi-level facility. 

Tip 4: Make a Financial Plan

Paying for care requires understanding options through education, research and careful planning. Defining your own goals, assessing your financial and medical needs, and determining what is most important in your future are all crucial aspects of your plan for paying for care. Sharing these plans with your family or a trustworthy friend then becomes the foundation for paying for your care. If you're curious about all the options, here's an article that covers the basics.

 

Tip 5: Do the Legwork
When evaluating any senior housing, it is important to visit the facility that will care for your loved one. Check out the atmosphere, food and staff attitude as well as services and health orientation. Most importantly, talk with nursing care residents and their families about the quality of care and kindness. Does it offer the kind of services needed and ask, "How will your community enhance my loved one's lifestyle?"

 

As much as most adult children and their aging parents dread the "conversation" about when is it time to transition to independent or assisted living, once the move is made the elder is often much safer, healthier, more active and socializing again.

 

While it takes courage and determination to coax these big changes, children will often be rewarded when they see a parent flourishing in a new environment and enjoying activities they haven't participated in for years.

 

This post was submitted by Mackenzie Tudor from SeniorHomes.com a free resource for people looking for senior housing or senior care.

 

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