Like most Baby Boomers, every year at this time I'd drag myself back to a school and try to forget summer. It wasn't that hard.
In my little Texas town, summer vacation meant working a job, crusin' the main drag (a verrrry short trip), swimming in the muddy Brazos River and the occasional make out session at the Brazos Drive-In (this was B.C., "Before Charlotte").
On digital paper, it sounds like a cross between Happy Days and Little House on the Prairie but it wasn't nearly that idyllic. Regardless of how the summer turned out, the first day of school was usually punctuated by a teacher asking me to condense WHAT I DID THIS SUMMER on to a piece of three-hole punch notebook paper.
This wasn't a tough assignment.
My goal was to turn in an essay that didn't contain too many grammatical errors and changed the names of the guilty to farm animals, as in "then Pig and I stashed the beer we bought with a fake ID in the brush at the Weatherford Boat Ramp." This was sometimes a problem in Granbury, Texas, because some of my classmates actually had animal nicknames, but I used literary license to work my way around any felonies.
The HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER essay has likely gone the way of schools without air-conditioning and the 8-Track tape. But that hasn't stopped me. I thought our reader millions of readers might like to know how Charlotte and I spent our summer. So buckle up buttercup and let's roll the highlight (and one lowlight) reel...
Diana Krall
Our summer started out on a sour note. This sultry songstress has been on my concert bucket list for a loooong time. That's why it was such a HUGE disappointment to see her at the Verizon Theater in Grand Prairie, Texas. The Boomer Babe spent 95% of the show promoting her new (and dismal) album Glad Rag Doll. One word review: Bleh (* out of 5 stars). I actually apologized to Charlotte for taking her.
Ranch Re-Do
We continued making progress remodeling the ranch house. There's still a lot to do, but this summer we took care of paint, plumbing, drywall, scraped the ceilings of their "popcorn" finish and replaced every single light fixture...holy googly moogly...LOT'S of lights.
"Next time you need to hang one of these lights, you're on your own," said the man who installed this fixture.Crusin'
Charlotte and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary cruising the Mediterranean aboard Regent's Seven Seas Mariner. Portofino, Capri, Corsica, Amalfi, Positano, Monte Carlo...the destinations were one-part Godfather, one-part James Bond and 100 percent amazing.
NY Son
Our NYC son, Cole, ditched the Big Apple for an all-too-brief trip to Texas. We nourished his inner Texan by feeding him Tex-Mex, Shiner beer and 100-degree temperatures.
Birthday Blow Out
Charlotte and her sister Pam pulled off the impossible - a surprise 75th birthday party for their mom. It was a terrific party that brought in friends she hadn't seen in years. Tears accompanied by BBQ...Beans...Potato Salad...Un-sweet Tea...and not one trip to the ER. It was a huge success.
House Guests
Charlotte and I are empty-nesters get it? There was a time this summer we were anything BUT empty-nesters. Charlotte's sister and her entire family (minus Batman the dog) bunked with us prior to the Birthday Blow Out.
Every room...bathroom...and semi-comfortable space was occupied with a human being. So, I did what any red-blooded Texan would do when faced with a house full of human flesh: take them to the ranch and give them all loaded weapons for an afternoon of shooting. Again, not one trip to the ER. Am I a good host, or what?!
Class dismissed.
Related