Don't Try This At Home

6 Predictions for 2014

By Bob on January 6, 2014 4:49 AM

Go ahead and admit it. You're more than a little surprised that we all made it out of 2013 ALIVE. I know I am.

Let's face it, 2013 sucked eggs. We had to push the reset button on our healthcare plans, watch Paula Deen implode, see Congress shut down the country more times than we could count AND suffer the loss of Breaking Bad.  ALL IN ONE YEAR.

2014-600.jpgI ask you. How. Much. Can. Humanity. Stand?

Thank GOD we were able to delay the zombie apocalypse with our secret government program (You're welcome). I don't think I could've handled that on top of everything else.

My new healthcare plan covers pre-existing conditions, but I've read the fine print and ZOMBIE wounds are not covered. I'll have to change providers before that shit gets real.



... a live TV production of Les Misérables - reimagined as a night at the Grand Ol' Opry.

Until it does GET REAL. I've got some real predictions for what we can all expect in 2014. That is, they're valid until the undead start lumbering through our cities or the Dallas Cowboys make it to the Super Bowl. Whichever comes first. 

The Boomer Brief Stock-Your-Bunker Predictions for 2014

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and I enjoying a private joke at his secret missle baseJeff Bezos Laughing at Book Title-600.jpg

1. Technology

Amazon.com announces its new contract with the government to deliver mail. Popular new phrases will enter everyday language, like "he went dronal," "we drone on for you," and the blue collar version, "Git 'R Droned." Showtime announces plans for a spinoff series tentatively titled, Game of Drones, about post-apocalyptic life where only drones survive. It's cancelled after two episodes due to the lack of nudity. 

Trust me, it's gonna work this timeObamaCare-600.jpg

2. Healthcare

Obamacare is scrapped in early March and replaced with "Yo Mama Care." This new healthcare system requires everyone to have a mother who takes care of them when they're sick. Yo Mama Care proves to be wildly popular with just about every segment of the population. Jewish mothers rush to embrace the new healthcare law by saying, "So now you're paying me for making chicken soup? Oy Vey!"

I'm headin' South, y'all!ROB FORD-488.jpg

3. Politics

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford leaves Canada and is elected as the next governor of Texas. When asked WHY he chose to run for Texas governor, Ford says, "Willie Nelson called and said the job was open. I told him I'd take a crack at it." In his first act as governor, he changes Austin's "Keep Austin Weird" slogan to read, "Get Crackin'!"

The smell is, well, rather pungent...Nick Saban-600.jpg

4. Sports

'Bama coach Nick Saban replaces University of Texas coach Mac Brown. Saban considers quitting UT when he learns that Bevo has an even bigger pile to clean up than Big Al, the Crimson Tide elephant.

 I just thought runnin' from the Nazis was bad...Carrie Underwood-450.jpg

5. Celebrities

Carrie Underwood announces she'll star in a live TV production of Les Misérables - reimagined as a night at the Grand Ol' Opry with co-star Paula Deen. The musical will feature BIG TEXAS hair, at least one Merle Haggard song (Mamma Died) and - as a special request from Paula Deen - every extra from Django Unchained. NBC threatens to cancel the production when the butter budget comes in higher than expected.   

Fast...hot...and...oh hell, who am I kidding?Amazon drone-600.jpg

6. Food

Amazon drones contract to handle Domino's Pizza delivery. In 2014, we'll all be able to get bad pizza even faster than before - and it'll still be cold. Drones still won't be able to make change or accept coupons. Sorry. Some things never change. Not even in the future.

That's all I've got for predictions, but I will leave you with one piece of advice. When it comes to winning the war against zombies, if you're not aiming at the head, you're gonna be dead. 

Write that down. You'll see it on the mid-term.


Take A Pea aka What to Expect in 2013  

The Cloudy Crystal Ball Predictions for 2012  

Oh Thank Heaven for 2011

Red Thong Strong: Girlfriends Little Secrets to Smoothing Lifes Panty Lines
Guest Room

Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

ChickenBurritoBowlEverydayDiabetes 600.jpg

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

Continue Reading »

Playing Favorites

Windy City

It's been almost 18 years since Alison Krauss gave us a solo album, but the wait is over with Windy City. The release (her fifth solo studio album) features ten covers of classic songs (and some bonus tracks) she picked with producer Buddy Cannon.

Continue Reading »

Follow Us

Follow us on Twitter: @BoomerBrief 

and @CharlotteBoomer

Follow Charlotte on Pinterest:  Follow Me on Pinterest

Follow Bob on Pinterest

Know someone battling cancer? Baylor Health Care System's Sammons Says... cancer blog is a great place to go for help. Here, you'll find information, resources, physicians, support groups and just about everything you need to help you navigate your way through this illness.

Now Trending 

We Like These Sites 

Senior Forums is a great place to get the news and share views on everything from hobbies and healthcare, to food, family & travel. 

Matt Drudge gets the goods and his site ain't bad either.

The Huffington Post is the gold standard of political blogs.

You don't have to live in Dallas to enjoy D Magazine.

More →