His next sign read: "Going Out of Business."
I know a lot of the U.S. celebrates Cinco de Mayo. But down here in Texas it's not as much celebration as it is reason to drink copious amounts of tequila, eat our special brand of Tex-Mex cooking and throw a party.
Hmmm...let's see...great tequila, wonderful Tex-Mex food...even a curmudgeon like me will attend a party like that. The folks at Tequila Herradura must've known it when they invited us to a tequila tasting celebration at the Christopher Martin Gallery in Dallas.
I was all, "Hell Yeah!" and Charlotte was all, "Use your inside voice, please."
So we went.
Our son Cole is our music Sherpa. He guides us up through the dreck and dross of pop culture by introducing us to new artists we'd never find on our own. Our most recent mountain-top experience came by way of Charlotte's birthday (yes, she's finally 30, so stop the jokes about me robbing the cradle) when he gave her the new album from Courtney Barnett.
As we get older, it's natural for many of the compounds in our environment--dander, pollen, dust--that didn't affect us when we were younger to have a bigger impact on our allergy health. As our immune systems wear down, it becomes more difficult to process allergens, making a smog-filled day or a visit to a moldy house a nightmare. And since spring is now in full bloom, you're going to want to be especially vigilant of one allergen in particular: pollen.
When I was in my 20's and 30's I could eat ANYTHING and not gain weight. True story - when Charlotte and I were first married, my waistline was so small **How Small Was It** that I bought my clothes in the boy's dept. at Stripling & Cox. BaDaBOOM! Thank you, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress.
On the positive side, I hear they're giving away free plastic cones with each removal.
My mother Patsy has trouble sitting still. She's always cooking, cleaning or working in her garden. She's known for fussing over my stepfather Ken, fixing goodies for her neighbors (everything from relaxing Bourbon Slushes to three-layer Coconut Cake) and singing in the church choir. So when Mother's Day rolls around, she's often overdue for some tender loving care.
If you're looking for a super side dish for your Easter table, this Broccoli Rice Casserole is a crowd pleaser. Most everyone in our family adores this cheesy concoction so it's always a hit on holidays.
We've been enjoying Broccoli Rice Casserole since one of my brother's girlfriends got us hooked on it many moons ago. My spin on this classic includes water chestnuts for a little crunch and a touch of hot sauce to make things more interesting. I also like using Success boil-in-bag rice because it's so easy and one bag gives you the perfect amount for this recipe. But you can use any cooked white rice.
To simplify my life, I usually cook this sensational side the day before, stash it in the fridge and reheat it before everyone arrives. It's wonderful with ham, fish, turkey, most any main dish. And the leftovers (IF there are any) freeze beautifully.
Now that Spring is here, I've been looking for a good rugged outdoor wireless speaker. If I'm cranking up Tom Petty or Dwight Yoakum down at the ranch, I need a wireless speaker that can bounce around in a 4-wheel-drive jeep and blast out the tunes.
I know which way I'm voting.
Although pretty much any beef rib roast is referred to informally as prime rib, less than 1 percent of the beef that is produced in the United States is actually officially graded "Prime," and most of that never reaches the retail market. In fact, the "prime" rib you purchase is usually "Choice" grade, which is fine; but if you know a butcher who deals in true Prime meat, this recipe might be an occasion where you want the real thing. The combination of opulent marbling from Prime-level husbandry and lithe tenderness that is the hallmark of slow-roasted meats is hard to top.
Charlotte and I have been redoing the Ranch House now for about a year. It's a definite work in progress, but she's done a great job decorating on a budget and we've even hung curtains without filing divorce papers.
So, it's all good.
The biggest challenge we've faced has been letting the various critters in our neck o' the woods know that we're here and we mean bidness. They're welcome to share our little slice of Cranfills Gap paradise so long as they obey The 5 Critter Commandments.
1. Thou shalt not scare the shit out of me by jumping out of the darkness
2. Thou art not welcome in my house - EVER
3. Thou knows that even if I look cute and cartoon-like, I may be killed if I break commandments #1, #2 and especially #4
4. Thou shalt not frighten Charlotte
5. Thou knows that if thou art a SNAKE and there is a weapon handy - shotgun, rock, hoe, rocket-propelled grenade launcher - thou will die a very unpleasant death accompanied by the sound of something resembling a three-year-old girl screaming
The Commandments are non-negotiable, so I was more than a little happy to get a phone call the other day that went something like this:
Caller: "Mr. Hill, I'm (name redacted to protect the innocent) I was wondering if you'd let me come on to your place and do some rattlesnake huntin'"
Me: "You want to do WHAT?"
Caller: "Snakes. I'd like to come on your place with a couple of my friends and hunt rattlesnakes."
Me: "This some kind of a ranch joke?"
Caller: "Nope, we like huntin' rattlesnakes. Took over 100 last year and I think we might get some on your place, if you'll let us."
Key Lime Pie is a spring, summer ... make that every season staple around our house. But some versions pack a meal's worth of calories in one little slice.
The things they DON'T teach you in health class.
Warmer weather means it's time for new sandals, especially if you're a shoe-aholic like me. (Hello, my name is Charlotte and I can't resist shoes.) I'm lovin' these three, super cute new looks because, besides being right on trend, they're incredibly comfortable.
If you're late to the Mad Men party like I was to House of Cards and Orange is the New Black, then it's time to catch up. Season 7 of this Emmy-winning series kicks off for its final season April 13th on AMC.
There are a million ways to sabotage your diet, but there are some easy steps you can take to stay on track. Here are five easy-to-use tips that'll keep you focused.
...and you thought I was going to say Hell.