I've been attending concerts for decades. As a child of the 60's, I've seen everyone from Jerry Garcia and Dylan, to Tom Petty, Jackson Browne, Fleetwood Mac and Bread (I'm not proud of the last one, but I'm all about full disclosure). Let's just say I've been around the concert block.
Trouble is, now that I/m middle-aged, going to concerts - at least the acts I'm drawn to - is starting to SUCK. Lemme 'splain.
The crowd at these shows is made up of, well, people just like us. That's understandable. Most of the rock icons from our youth (I'm looking at you Steve Miller) are in their early to mid-70's...so it's fair to assume they're gonna attract a slightly older demographic.
THAT'S the problem.
Baby Boomers - for the most part - suck at concerts. Maybe it's the 60% hearing loss we have thanks to standing next to Jimmy Page's amp in '74...I dunno. But, let's be clear - the concert behavior you thought was OK in the 70's (and to be fair, it wasn't OK then) doesn't work today.
I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking: Some of you people annoy the s**t outta me. Thanks, I feel better now. I know it's unfair to just point out the problem without offering a solution. Don't worry. I'm not gonna leave you hanging.
We ALL want a better concert experience. So, as a public service to Baby Boomers everywhere, here are 5 unbreakable rules to follow at your next show.
1. Dance in the Shower
Hey you, late-60's woman in the tie-dye tent dress, I know Steve Miller's Jungle Love is your favorite song. I get it. But, sit the HELL down. You aren't the wafer-thin Will-O'-The-Wisp you were at Texas Jam in 1975. Your...I'll be kind here...GIRTH is blocking the view of at least 30 people who paid the same $98 per-seat to see the show. Do your dancing in the shower before the show. Who knows? Maybe we'll be lucky and you'll break a hip and we won't have to watch your clumsy Elaine Dance instead of seeing the act we PAID to see.
2. Shut the F**K Up
I don't care if your dog has the runs, or your daughter just gave birth to an alien baby. Turn off your cell phone. I KNOW THE MUSIC IS LOUD, but we can still hear you. OK?
3. Go Before You Go
We all enjoy an adult beverage at our favorite concert hall, but here's an idea. Think before you drink. If you've got bladder issues - and a lot of Baby Boomers do - then try a little moderation. If you have to pee more than three times during the one-hour warmup act, your frequent entrances and exits are gonna piss off everybody within two rows of you.
4. Ask an Usher
Yeah, it's me, the guy with the aisle seat. Am I wearing a red shirt? Do I have a laminated ID hanging around my neck? Am I holding a flashlight? If the answer to ONE Of those questions is NO, then do us both a favor and DON'T ask me if that seat across the aisle is Section 274, Seat 19, Row LL. Find an usher or - and I know this is heresy - get to the show before it starts and find your damn seat. I'm not your date or guide dog.
5. Buy the Blu-Ray
The next time you think about going to show, buy the DVD instead. Then take the money you would've spent and leave it to your kids. They can use the cash to buy a ticket to a show where they can annoy the ever loving hell out of the next generation.
Your legacy will live on.
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Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.
Tips:
If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.
If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.
Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.
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