Go
Don't Try This At Home

Life's better with a Laugh Track

By Bob on June 5, 2017 4:49 AM

I've been thinking a lot about humor lately. Because, let's face it, we're in a comedy drought.

As you can see in this chart, our comedy quotient has been shrinking since 1927

Donut Hole Size-500.jpg Before you cli...WHOOPS I LOST YOU...give me a chance to 'splain

 THEN YOU CAN CLICK.

OK? Jeez, this is a tough room.

By the end of this post, you'll be singing a different tune

The Singing Midget-600.jpgAs I was saying, there isn't much to laugh at these days. Politics, terrorists, United Airlines, gun violence...and don't EVEN get me started about your state's BATHROOM BILL. There's nothing funny there. Move along, please. 

Comedians...that's where we'll turn to get our laughs! Right? 

Did you see Kathy Griffin's wildly inappropriate impersonation of a Trump jihadist? How'd that work out?


It was great. Especially the turn-down service... 

Yeah, it kinda played out like this

No Hot Dog for You-600.jpgNope. I've decided that if I have a snowball's chance in H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS (pardon my language) of laughing anytime soon, I'll have to take matters into my own hands.

So, when I'm not listening to the voices in my head, I just make my own humor.  

In my defense, he asked for it

That's for being stupid-480.jpgLike the other day at ALBERTSON'S. 

I'm in the Express Lane with ONE item: a jar of Light Mayonnaise (don't ask). 

20-Something-Checker: "That'll be $3.49. You want a bag for that? 

Bob: "No thanks. I'll eat it here." 

**crickets** 

THANK YOU! I'M HERE ALL WEEK. CATCH MY NEXT SHOW IN THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE. 

Or this gem.

I'm thinkin' that's not Mountain Dew she's drinkin'Gettin Married - 563.jpg

Charlotte and I attended a wedding in rural Texas. We booked a room at the hotel so we wouldn't have to drive home after the reception. 

The next morning one of the other wedding guests asked, "How'd you like your room?" 

Bob: "It was great. Especially the turn-down service." 

Other guest (scratching head): "You got turn-down service? I didn't know they did that." 

Bob: "Well, all I know is that someone left a can of Copenhagen on my pillow and a bottle of Mountain Dew on the night stand. I thought it was turn-down service." 

**MORE crickets**

Sometimes I get a frosty reception

Polar Bear-500.jpgFor those of you who are interested, I'll be doing shows next week at Whataburger, Centre Dry Cleaners, Walgreen's and our newly remodeled Super Target. 

You're welcome, America.

You Might Like

34 Years Ago Today

Great Grilled Chicken

Spicy Texas English Muffin Pizza

Comments
Go
Red Thong Strong: Girlfriends Little Secrets to Smoothing Lifes Panty Lines
Guest Room

Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

ChickenBurritoBowlEverydayDiabetes 600.jpg

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.

Tips:

If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

Continue Reading »

Playing Favorites

Windy City

It's been almost 18 years since Alison Krauss gave us a solo album, but the wait is over with Windy City. The release (her fifth solo studio album) features ten covers of classic songs (and some bonus tracks) she picked with producer Buddy Cannon.

Continue Reading »

Follow Us

Follow us on Twitter: @BoomerBrief 

and @CharlotteBoomer

  
Follow Charlotte on Pinterest:  Follow Me on Pinterest

Follow Bob on Pinterest


Know someone battling cancer? Baylor Health Care System's Sammons Says... cancer blog is a great place to go for help. Here, you'll find information, resources, physicians, support groups and just about everything you need to help you navigate your way through this illness.

Now Trending 

We Like These Sites 

Senior Forums is a great place to get the news and share views on everything from hobbies and healthcare, to food, family & travel. 

3CouponCode is home to thousands of the latest money-saving coupons and deals.

Matt Drudge gets the goods and his site ain't bad either.

The Huffington Post is the gold standard of political blogs.

You don't have to live in Dallas to enjoy D Magazine.

More →