I've been thinking a lot about humor lately. Because, let's face it, we're in a comedy drought.
Before you cli...WHOOPS I LOST YOU...give me a chance to 'splain
THEN YOU CAN CLICK.
OK? Jeez, this is a tough room.
As I was saying, there isn't much to laugh at these days. Politics, terrorists, United Airlines, gun violence...and don't EVEN get me started about your state's BATHROOM BILL. There's nothing funny there. Move along, please.
Comedians...that's where we'll turn to get our laughs! Right?
Did you see Kathy Griffin's wildly inappropriate impersonation of a Trump jihadist? How'd that work out?
Nope. I've decided that if I have a snowball's chance in H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS (pardon my language) of laughing anytime soon, I'll have to take matters into my own hands.
So, when I'm not listening to the voices in my head, I just make my own humor.
Like the other day at ALBERTSON'S.
I'm in the Express Lane with ONE item: a jar of Light Mayonnaise (don't ask).
20-Something-Checker: "That'll be $3.49. You want a bag for that?
Bob: "No thanks. I'll eat it here."
**crickets**
THANK YOU! I'M HERE ALL WEEK. CATCH MY NEXT SHOW IN THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE.
Or this gem.
Charlotte and I attended a wedding in rural Texas. We booked a room at the hotel so we wouldn't have to drive home after the reception.
The next morning one of the other wedding guests asked, "How'd you like your room?"
Bob: "It was great. Especially the turn-down service."
Other guest (scratching head): "You got turn-down service? I didn't know they did that."
Bob: "Well, all I know is that someone left a can of Copenhagen on my pillow and a bottle of Mountain Dew on the night stand. I thought it was turn-down service."
**MORE crickets**
For those of you who are interested, I'll be doing shows next week at Whataburger, Centre Dry Cleaners, Walgreen's and our newly remodeled Super Target.
You're welcome, America.
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Spicy Texas English Muffin Pizza
Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.
Tips:
If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.
If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.
Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.
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