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Daily Distraction Archives

Daily Distraction

Their children were Uh Ho and Yikes

By Bob on May 23, 2017 2:46 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Snakes are jerks

By Bob on May 16, 2017 2:41 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

How ripe are the avocados?

By Bob on May 9, 2017 1:38 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Meanwhile...back in Southlake

By Bob on May 2, 2017 1:34 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Fido was always a rebel

By Bob on April 25, 2017 10:25 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

The photographer blew it with this picture

By Bob on April 18, 2017 1:18 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Welcome to Hell...

By Bob on April 11, 2017 2:49 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Crappy forecast

By Bob on April 4, 2017 2:45 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Because there are some things air freshner can't cover up

By Bob on March 28, 2017 2:56 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Thanks for pointing out the obvious

By Bob on March 21, 2017 2:52 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Trust us, we're really good at this stuff

By Bob on March 14, 2017 2:47 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

A semi-breech delivery

By Bob on March 7, 2017 2:39 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

He had 'em eating right out of his hands

By Bob on February 28, 2017 2:25 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

This mug's for you

By Bob on February 21, 2017 2:20 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

It had to happen sometime

By Bob on February 14, 2017 2:12 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Yep, he's been here before

By Bob on February 7, 2017 2:04 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Let us spray...or not...I'm good either way

By Bob on January 31, 2017 2:17 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Yeah, that'll hold it

By Bob on January 24, 2017 3:13 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

A sign with a peel

By Bob on January 17, 2017 4:08 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Funny cause it's true

By Bob on January 10, 2017 4:03 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

He wants to be seen...just not too much

By Bob on January 3, 2017 4:56 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

It Depends on Your Definition of "Always"

By Bob on December 27, 2016 2:58 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

It Only Plays One Song: "Taps"

By Bob on December 20, 2016 4:54 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

This is Why Daddy Has a Bad Back

By Bob on December 13, 2016 3:49 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

When We Be Open?

By Bob on December 6, 2016 3:46 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Too Close for Comfort

By Bob on November 29, 2016 4:28 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

He Was Originally For Sale

By Bob on November 22, 2016 2:24 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Somebody Flunked Geometry

By Bob on November 15, 2016 3:20 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

I Was Afraid Barbie Would Wind Up Like This

By Bob on November 8, 2016 4:16 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

No Emergencies Allowed

By Bob on November 1, 2016 4:08 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Easy Solution: Change the Name to Restaurant Logo

By Bob on October 25, 2016 2:52 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

THIS Explains Little Johnny's Drinking Problem

By Bob on October 18, 2016 4:47 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

But, What If the Guy with the Key Drowns?

By Bob on October 11, 2016 2:41 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Wake Up in 7 Days and Your Flu is Gone!

By Bob on October 4, 2016 3:37 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

It's Official?

By Bob on September 27, 2016 4:12 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

I Said I'd Walk Her to School, Didn't I?

By Bob on September 20, 2016 3:06 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Nothing Much...What's New With You?

By Bob on September 13, 2016 3:59 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Protecting the Upper Crust

By Bob on September 6, 2016 4:37 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Not Going to Say I Told You So, but...

By Bob on August 30, 2016 4:33 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Walmart Gets No Respect

By Bob on August 23, 2016 4:28 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Blanche Was Always a Rebel

By Bob on August 16, 2016 4:24 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Probably Seen Too Many Bleeding Hearts

By Bob on August 9, 2016 4:13 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

The SECOND Best Way to Put Out a Fire

By Bob on August 2, 2016 4:08 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

You Had ONE Job...

By Bob on July 26, 2016 1:20 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

This Tour Stinks

By Bob on July 19, 2016 1:13 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Blame it on the Night Shift

By Bob on July 12, 2016 1:09 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Measure Twice, Cut Onc...Ah, F*#$ It...

By Bob on July 5, 2016 4:58 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

I'm Going to Check "NO" on this One

By Bob on June 28, 2016 4:53 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Blame it on the Chili

By Bob on June 21, 2016 4:49 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Now We Know Sara's Secret

By Bob on June 14, 2016 2:46 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

You Can Run But You Can't Hide

By Bob on June 7, 2016 3:38 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Her Meow is Worse than Her Bark

By Bob on May 31, 2016 3:31 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

He's Baaahhd to the Bone

By Bob on May 24, 2016 4:27 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Looking Good, Carlos!

By Bob on May 17, 2016 3:24 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

I'll Have my McNuggets in my McMansion

By Bob on May 10, 2016 3:19 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Warning: Adults On Board

By Bob on May 3, 2016 4:13 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

His Sentence Was Death by Swirly

By Bob on April 26, 2016 4:07 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Walmart is Serious About the Executive Toilet

By Bob on April 19, 2016 5:03 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

This Explains Her Princess Complex

By Bob on April 12, 2016 4:59 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

But, I Just Came In For An Oil Change

By Bob on April 5, 2016 4:27 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Like Father Like Son

By Bob on March 29, 2016 2:23 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Great Financial Advice

By Bob on March 22, 2016 2:19 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

He Probably Walked Home Barefoot

By Bob on March 15, 2016 4:06 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

This Kid Has His Priorities Straight

By Bob on March 8, 2016 3:01 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

And They Said It Wouldn't Last...

By Bob on March 1, 2016 4:54 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Their Other Car Was Washed Up

By Bob on February 23, 2016 2:39 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

See...I Told You She Was Nuts

By Bob on February 16, 2016 4:33 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

That's What She Said

By Bob on February 9, 2016 3:29 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

So That's What It Does...

By Bob on February 2, 2016 4:22 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

He Even Tried Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation

By Bob on January 26, 2016 4:13 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

All I've Had To Drink Is Water, Officer

By Bob on January 19, 2016 3:08 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Size Matters

By Bob on January 12, 2016 4:05 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

A Little Late

By Bob on January 5, 2016 4:59 AM | Read More

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Daily Distraction

Guess The Jolly Ol' Elf Wasn't Available

By Bob on December 29, 2015 4:59 AM | Read More

Every child got what they wanted...but they had to sign a contract first.

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Daily Distraction

This Place Is Going To The Dogs

By Bob on December 22, 2015 4:44 AM | Read More

...and it's bringing in people from three counties over.

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Daily Distraction

I've Vacationed Here Before

By Bob on December 15, 2015 4:38 AM | Read More

But trust me, it's better than Cape Fear. That place scares the crap out of me.

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Daily Distraction

Here's The Solution To Your Problem

By Bob on December 8, 2015 4:32 AM | Read More

Next time, try the cone of silence.

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Daily Distraction

That's What I Was Looking For

By Bob on December 1, 2015 4:27 AM | Read More

Thanks for returning it.

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Daily Distraction

I'd Take This Sign Seriously

By Bob on November 24, 2015 4:23 AM | Read More

You never want to confront a flying dog.

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Daily Distraction

The 3 Basic Food Groups

By Bob on November 17, 2015 4:19 AM | Read More

I hear that Yogi and Boo Boo shop here all the time.

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Daily Distraction

I'd File A Complaint

By Bob on November 10, 2015 4:08 AM | Read More

I hate it when places discriminate.

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Daily Distraction

I Don't Know Why I'm Gaining Weight

By Bob on November 3, 2015 4:03 AM | Read More

I've been eating off the kid's menu.

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Daily Distraction

Peaceful Neighborhood

By Bob on October 27, 2015 4:58 AM | Read More

Hasn't had a noise complaint yet.

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Daily Distraction

We Used To Have Curb Service

By Bob on October 20, 2015 4:54 AM | Read More

...now we have a drive-through.

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Daily Distraction

Does This Taste Funny To You?

By Bob on October 13, 2015 4:39 AM | Read More

I'll admit it's got a wang to it.

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Daily Distraction

Yes

By Bob on October 6, 2015 4:33 AM | Read More

...as a matter of fact, I am.

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Daily Distraction

Think You Went To A Crappy School?

By Bob on September 29, 2015 4:28 AM | Read More

You can't compete with these stinkers.

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Daily Distraction

Push Vs Pull Vs Walk

By Bob on September 22, 2015 4:24 AM | Read More

I'm guessing "walk" usually wins this one.

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Daily Distraction

Genetic Engineering Gone Wrong

By Bob on September 15, 2015 4:17 AM | Read More

I just can't wrap my ahead around this new cob melon.

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Daily Distraction

This Is The Place Your Mother Warned You About

By Bob on September 8, 2015 4:14 AM | Read More

And here's why...

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Daily Distraction

I Can't Decide Which Is Worst

By Bob on September 1, 2015 4:08 AM | Read More

Either way you wind up screwed.

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Daily Distraction

There's Something About This Juice

By Bob on August 25, 2015 4:31 AM | Read More

It's cheap, but I just can't get anybody to take a crack at it.

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Daily Distraction

I Always Obey Warning Signs

By Bob on August 18, 2015 4:27 AM | Read More

Especially ones like this.

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Daily Distraction

Wear Your Flotation Device

By Bob on August 11, 2015 4:07 AM | Read More

When I said I wanted a "Coke Float" this isn't what I had in mind.

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Daily Distraction

I Blame The Schools

By Bob on August 4, 2015 4:01 AM | Read More

But then, I'd be wrong.

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Daily Distraction

So This Is What The Future Looks Like

By Bob on July 28, 2015 4:53 AM | Read More

I bet he aces that job interview.

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Daily Distraction

On the Internet...

By Bob on July 21, 2015 4:47 AM | Read More

...nobody knows you're a dog.

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Daily Distraction

It's One of My Hangups

By Bob on July 14, 2015 4:33 AM | Read More

I just can't stomach these things!

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Daily Distraction

That's Why I'm Gaining Weight

By Bob on July 7, 2015 4:27 AM | Read More

I need to start eating at "Soon Thin"...!

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Daily Distraction

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold

By Bob on June 30, 2015 4:33 AM | Read More

...with chips and a drink!

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Daily Distraction

Why Is English Have To Be So Hard?

By Bob on June 23, 2015 4:28 AM | Read More

But it does explain why the pasteries are slippery.

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Daily Distraction

Looks Like We'll Need A New Sign

By Bob on June 16, 2015 4:23 AM | Read More

If "Drive Dumb!" isn't taken, I say we go with that.

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Daily Distraction

Peter Pan, The Early Years

By Bob on June 9, 2015 4:19 AM | Read More

So, is he saying he wants to be a Toy's R Us kid?

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Daily Distraction

You Normally Don't Spot These in the Wild

By Bob on June 2, 2015 4:13 AM | Read More

Yeah, he's a little wild, but he looks fabulous!

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Daily Distraction

For The Kid Who Has Everything

By Bob on May 26, 2015 4:09 AM | Read More

Now with more wood!

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Daily Distraction

Armed and Stupid

By Bob on May 19, 2015 4:59 AM | Read More

Guess you could say they saw him coming.

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Daily Distraction

Got Milk? Well, Sort Of...

By Bob on May 12, 2015 4:48 AM | Read More

It will, however, give you 9 lives if you drink it.

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Daily Distraction

A Firm Grasp of (un)Reality

By Bob on May 5, 2015 4:43 AM | Read More

When I told you my mom was inflexible, I meant it.

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Daily Distraction

A Flagrant Violation

By Bob on April 28, 2015 4:39 AM | Read More

...but pretty damn funny.

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Thank You Captain Obvious

By Bob on April 21, 2015 4:34 AM | Read More

I've just been handed an important news bulletin: Scissors cut paper.

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Daily Distraction

Good Marketing Gone Wrong

By Bob on April 14, 2015 4:30 AM | Read More

C'mon! Play fair...

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Daily Distraction

They'll Never Take Me Alive

By Bob on April 7, 2015 4:25 AM | Read More

OK, now it's getting personal.

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Something you never heard on Wild Kingdom

By Bob on March 31, 2015 2:15 AM | Read More

Another little-known fact, they taste just like chicken.

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Daily Distraction

Down in the dumps?

By Bob on March 24, 2015 2:11 AM | Read More

Trust me, this guy's job is crappier than yours.

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Daily Distraction

You've got to hand it to 'em

By Bob on March 17, 2015 2:07 AM | Read More

...then again, maybe you don't.

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Daily Distraction

Math is hard

By Bob on March 10, 2015 2:04 AM | Read More

And it's even harder if you're stupid.

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Daily Distraction

Time to catch up on my reading

By Bob on March 3, 2015 1:59 AM | Read More

So many chapters, so little time.

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Daily Distraction

Nailed it!

By Bob on February 24, 2015 1:56 AM | Read More

Then again, that's not always a good thing.

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Daily Distraction

Found this in the Sex Ed Section

By Bob on February 17, 2015 1:53 AM | Read More

Somebody's getting good with the product placement at Barnes & Noble.

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Daily Distraction

The perfect Valentine's Day gift

By Bob on February 10, 2015 1:47 AM | Read More

Could be worse. When I was that age I rode a unicycle.

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Daily Distraction

OK, now the song's stuck in my head

By Bob on February 3, 2015 1:42 AM | Read More

Bonus points for our reader millions of readers who catch the other visual pun in this picture.

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Daily Distraction

Let me guess who turned him in...

By Bob on January 27, 2015 1:35 AM | Read More

Hmmm...could it have been I.P. Freely?

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Daily Distraction

If the force is with you...

By Bob on January 20, 2015 1:12 AM | Read More

...put this on.

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His first draft was "Don't Do Carbs"

By Bob on January 13, 2015 3:49 AM | Read More

He should've disclosed that his poster was sponsored by the Olive Garden.

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Daily Distraction

Who's in control?

By Bob on January 6, 2015 2:45 AM | Read More

I got your answer right here!

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Safety is No Accident

By Bob on December 30, 2014 4:46 AM | Read More

On second thought, maybe it IS!

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Santa's Coming To Town!

By Bob on December 23, 2014 4:43 AM | Read More

And he's really pissed.

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Daily Distraction

Aerosmith Had Nothing To Do With This

By Bob on December 16, 2014 4:36 AM | Read More

At least that's what Steven Tyler told me.

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Homeless Tree

By Bob on December 9, 2014 4:33 AM | Read More

Won't anybody help this tree get home for the holidays?

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Definitely on the Naughty List

By Bob on December 2, 2014 4:29 AM | Read More

Didn't anyone ever tell her that Santa sees everything?

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Polite Protest

By Bob on November 25, 2014 4:24 AM | Read More

She put the "civil" in civil disobedience.

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No! I Said Windowsill

By Bob on November 18, 2014 4:20 AM | Read More

NOT windowGRILL!

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Why the Long Face?

By Bob on November 11, 2014 4:17 AM | Read More

Oh, that's why!

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Close!

By Bob on November 4, 2014 4:13 AM | Read More

...but no cigar!

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Daily Distraction

Truth in Advertising

By Bob on October 28, 2014 4:09 AM | Read More

How many times have you wanted to do this to a Micky D's sign? Somebody beat you to it!

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Daily Distraction

Batman the Later Years

By Bob on October 21, 2014 4:05 AM | Read More

Age left the Caped Crusader just a little bitter.

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Daily Distraction

One Tough Hombre

By Bob on October 14, 2014 4:00 AM | Read More

He shot straight with us, up until the very last.

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Perfect Product Placement

By Bob on October 7, 2014 4:56 AM | Read More

But, sooo unfair!

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We Can't Name Our Child THAT!

By Bob on September 30, 2014 4:51 AM | Read More

He'd be the butt of every joke.

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What's Worse Than Working for Wal-Mart?

By Bob on September 23, 2014 4:47 AM | Read More

I'm guessing, this:

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Is There Life After Death?

By Bob on September 16, 2014 4:35 AM | Read More

Easy way to find out...

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Daily Distraction

Elvis Has Left the Building

By Bob on September 9, 2014 4:30 AM | Read More

Slowly...very slowly.

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Safe Sex?

By Bob on September 2, 2014 4:26 AM | Read More

This theory has some holes in it...

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Best Teacher Ever

By Bob on August 26, 2014 4:23 AM | Read More

Or not...maybe not...screw it, who am I kidding?

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And Then One of Them Went to Broadway

By Bob on August 19, 2014 4:18 AM | Read More

Guess which one...

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Safety First

By Bob on August 12, 2014 4:16 AM | Read More

Or maybe it's last...I forget.

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Daily Distraction

This Restaurant Will Never Make It

By Bob on August 5, 2014 4:12 AM | Read More

'cause they serve too many carbs.

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Daily Distraction

Last Hired

By Bob on July 29, 2014 4:09 AM | Read More

...FIRST fired?

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Daily Distraction

Let Me Ax You A Question

By Bob on July 22, 2014 4:05 AM | Read More

Is this safe?

7-22 - I want to ax you a question-500.jpg

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What A Refreshing Idea!

By Bob on July 15, 2014 4:22 AM | Read More

Just the thing for when your signature's too hot to handle!

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New from Whammo!

By Bob on July 8, 2014 4:18 AM | Read More

Slime & Slide!

7-8 - Slime & Slide-429.jpg

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Talkin' Trash

By Bob on July 1, 2014 4:12 AM | Read More

...but it damn well better be the RIGHT KIND of garbage!

7-1 - Trash Only-640.jpg

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Don't Make Me Go All Caveman on You

By Bob on June 24, 2014 4:44 AM | Read More

Don't start a rumble with a Rubble.

6-24 - Wanna Start a Rubble-500.jpg

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Daily Distraction

How Laid Back Can One Person Be?

By Bob on June 17, 2014 4:39 AM | Read More

Maybe a little too laid back for his own good...

6-17 - No worries-600.jpg

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Hot Offer

By Bob on June 10, 2014 4:34 AM | Read More

I bet they don't get many takers.

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What's Cookin'?

By Bob on June 3, 2014 4:31 AM | Read More

Dessert!

6-3 - Cookies-600.jpg

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Good News!

By Bob on May 27, 2014 4:27 AM | Read More

I saved the beer!

5-27 - I saved the beer-600.jpg

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We Put the "Sun" in Suntan

By Bob on May 20, 2014 4:22 AM | Read More

Makes you wonder who had this bright idea.

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I've Eaten Here A Few Times

By Bob on May 13, 2014 4:16 AM | Read More

...but an hour later I was hungry again.

5-13 - Restaurant tells truth-600.jpg

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Some Say Love's A Prison

By Bob on May 6, 2014 5:12 AM | Read More

And some are just prisoners of love...

5-6 - Jail Family-552.jpg

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Daily Distraction

A Sign You Need a New Sign

By Bob on April 29, 2014 4:33 AM | Read More

His next sign read: "Going Out of Business."

4-29 - Needs a New Sign - 600.jpg

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You'd Have to be Nuts to do This

By Bob on April 22, 2014 4:28 AM | Read More

On the positive side, I hear they're giving away free plastic cones with each removal.

4-22 - Balls-400.jpg

 

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Daily Distraction

Rangers Fan or Cubs Fan?

By Bob on April 15, 2014 4:23 AM | Read More

I know which way I'm voting.

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A Warning Sign You Can Believe

By Bob on April 8, 2014 4:20 AM | Read More

The things they DON'T teach you in health class.

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I've Been Directed Here Many Times

By Bob on April 1, 2014 4:16 AM | Read More

...and you thought I was going to say Hell.

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Or, I Guess You Could Just Scream

By Bob on March 25, 2014 4:13 AM | Read More

It's good to have options.

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One Letter Makes ALL the Difference

By Bob on March 18, 2014 4:05 AM | Read More

I bet she loves her baby brothel, too.

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Nothing to See Here

By Bob on March 11, 2014 4:02 AM | Read More

Move along...

3-11 - Property Not For Sale-500.jpg

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He's Just Lucky His First Name's Not Sonic

By Bob on March 4, 2014 3:50 AM | Read More

Poor guy just got tired of having to trim off the extra.

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Are You My New Daddy?

By Bob on February 25, 2014 2:57 AM | Read More

'cause the last one was a pane in the glass.

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Prescription for Laughter

By Bob on February 18, 2014 2:52 AM | Read More

I've known some people who talked out of this orifice...

2-18 - Inhale This-600.jpg

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Dora the Explorer May Have a New Gig

By Bob on February 11, 2014 2:48 AM | Read More

It's always the quiet ones who surprise you.

2-11 - Dora the Explorer-600.jpg

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I Wouldn't Park Here If I Was You

By Bob on February 4, 2014 2:39 AM | Read More

Because...

2-4 - Bad Shit.jpg

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Distracted Drivers Are The Worst

By Bob on January 28, 2014 2:22 AM | Read More

Kinda like THIS guy!

1-28 - You want wi-fi with that - 500.jpg

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I Always Fall for These Deals

By Bob on January 21, 2014 2:17 AM | Read More

You can't beat FREE! Then again, maybe you can.

1-21 - Free-523.jpg

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Stacy's Mom

By Bob on January 14, 2014 2:13 AM | Read More

Yeah, sing along with me...

1-14 - Stacy's Mom-500.jpg

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I Lived Here in College

By Bob on January 7, 2014 1:58 AM | Read More

Don't judge me...you probably did, too.

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They said she was frigid

By Bob on December 31, 2013 5:45 AM | Read More

But she melted every time they kissed.

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Safety never takes a holiday...

By Bob on December 24, 2013 5:41 AM | Read More

...or DOES it?

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The OCD tree

By Bob on December 17, 2013 5:36 AM | Read More

When fall comes we have to count the leaves all over again.

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The chili cook-off was a real blast

By Bob on December 10, 2013 5:20 AM | Read More

Just another reason to leave the beans OUT of the chili!

12-10 - Must've Been The Chili-600.jpg

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Old Chinese proverb says...

By Bob on December 3, 2013 5:15 AM | Read More

fork you!

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Where'd that bully go?

By Bob on November 26, 2013 5:01 AM | Read More

I've got a surprise for him!

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Bend over and touch your toes

By Bob on November 19, 2013 4:57 AM | Read More

I'll show you where the wild goose goes!

11-19 - Watch Goose-450.jpg

Pingates

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Daily Distraction

Some stores are just a little TOO helpful

By Bob on November 12, 2013 4:53 AM | Read More

Thanks anyway, but I've got this.

11-12 - You Can Do It We Can Help-500.jpg

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Too hot to handle

By Bob on November 5, 2013 4:49 AM | Read More

That's what SHE said!

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Trying to scare up a sale

By Bob on October 29, 2013 4:44 AM | Read More

It's downright spooky what some realtors will do to sell a house.

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Daily Distraction

Wave at the camera

By Bob on October 22, 2013 4:40 AM | Read More

On second thought, maybe you should just look out for the wave behind you.

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Mr. T has a new gig

By Bob on October 15, 2013 4:32 AM | Read More

I guess the "T" stands for "toilet".

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And they named her BBQ

By Bob on October 8, 2013 4:26 AM | Read More

They say she was smokin' hot.

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The original iPad

By Bob on October 1, 2013 4:12 AM | Read More

I think Apple may have ripped off this guy's patent.

10-1 - Apple Stole My Idea for the iPad-550.jpg

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For all you brid watchers out there

By Bob on September 24, 2013 4:08 AM | Read More

This flower pot's for you!

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Daily Distraction

Need shoes for a 3-legged race?

By Bob on September 17, 2013 4:06 AM | Read More

Here you go!

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When grandma saw this baby bib...

By Bob on September 10, 2013 3:57 AM | Read More

...SHE'S the one who spit up!

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How does our dog keep getting out?

By Bob on September 3, 2013 3:54 AM | Read More

You MIGHT look at your backyard fence.

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Best name ever

By Bob on August 27, 2013 3:49 AM | Read More

They say the donuts here are so good it's almost a crime.

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Daily Distraction

Modern microwave

By Bob on August 20, 2013 3:16 AM | Read More

Today's microwaves have settings for just about anything.

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Making the hard choice

By Bob on August 13, 2013 3:10 AM | Read More

Not available in soft serve...

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How low can we go?

By Bob on August 6, 2013 2:55 AM | Read More

I'll be stocking up just as soon as I can get there...

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Daily Distraction

Crappy place for a birthday

By Bob on July 30, 2013 2:51 AM | Read More

I guess this location would work if the birthday boy/girl was a real stinker.

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Daily Distraction

It's HELL down here

By Bob on July 23, 2013 2:44 AM | Read More

Our NY son Cole rides the subway every day (don't get him started about the problems with the G Train). He says the NY subways are Hell in the summer...looks like he's telling the truth.

7-23 - Subway ride from Hell-500.jpg

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Daily Distraction

Will You Marry Me?

By Bob on July 16, 2013 4:46 AM | Read More

Why?

'Cause I really need a new deer rifle!

Hunting for the Right Woman-550.jpg

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We're Searching For The Missing Link

By Bob on July 9, 2013 5:40 AM | Read More

But, this handy zip tie will work great until we find it.

You ARE the weakest link-550.jpg

 

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Daily Distraction

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

By Bob on July 2, 2013 5:34 AM | Read More

You can tell by his expression, he's mad as heck!

Polite Protester-500.jpg

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Relax, They Can't Repossess Our Lawn

By Bob on June 25, 2013 5:27 AM | Read More

Then again, maybe they can...

Repossesed Lawn-600.jpg

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There's A Party Here Every Night

By Bob on June 18, 2013 5:20 AM | Read More

Hoe Carnival-600.jpg

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He's Just Braggin'

By Bob on June 11, 2013 5:14 AM | Read More

Seriously, Dude...

Somebody's in for a Happy Honeymoon-600.jpg

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Awkward Card Dept.

By Bob on June 4, 2013 5:09 AM | Read More

When you care enough to send the very best...

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I'm OK, You're OK

By Bob on May 28, 2013 2:57 AM | Read More

My computer's OK, too. Thanks for asking.

OK-500.jpg

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Now I Know Why I Can't Find the Pepperoni

By Bob on May 21, 2013 2:47 AM | Read More

It's on the other side!

Upside Down Pizza-500.jpg

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Shaq's Favorite Bookstore

By Bob on May 14, 2013 2:25 AM | Read More

Books for tall people-500.jpg

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One Size Fits All?

By Bob on May 7, 2013 2:19 AM | Read More

Thanks, but I'm not trying these on.

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Here's Your Sign

By Bob on April 30, 2013 2:05 AM | Read More

No, seriously. Here it is.

Here's Your Sign-500.jpg

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When Crocodiles Go Bad(er)

By Bob on April 23, 2013 2:01 AM | Read More

I hate it when they resort to cannibalism.

Crocodile Cannibalism-600.jpg

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Breast In Plants

By Bob on April 16, 2013 3:37 AM | Read More

What were you looking for? It's not THAT kind of blog...yet!

Boob gardening-443.jpg

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How To Pick Up Women

By Bob on April 9, 2013 3:27 AM | Read More

Turns out, it's really pretty easy.

How to Pick Up Girls-600.jpg


 

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Daily Distraction

I Bought This at IKEA

By Bob on April 2, 2013 3:21 AM | Read More

Why? Because the instructions read, "No Assembly Required". Smart, huh!

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Daily Distraction

False Advertising

By Bob on March 26, 2013 2:08 AM | Read More

Wanna see some "Mad Men"? Show 'em this sign.

False Advertising-490.jpg

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Yeah, I'll Watch the Kid

By Bob on March 19, 2013 3:03 AM | Read More

How hard could it be?

Babysitting Gone Wrong-500.jpg

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What Do Your Friends Call You?

By Bob on March 12, 2013 4:58 AM | Read More

Word on the street is they call you...

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Give Track #3 A Listen

By Bob on March 5, 2013 4:53 AM | Read More

I hear it's a real gas.

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Got a Light?

By Bob on February 26, 2013 3:49 AM | Read More

On second thought, maybe you just better keep it.

Got a light-500.jpg

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Isn't That Just Peachy

By Bob on February 19, 2013 3:23 AM | Read More

Boy, is my face red...err, I mean yellow...oh just forget it.

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Somebody Doesn't Have a Date for Valentine's Day

By Bob on February 12, 2013 3:17 AM | Read More

This was my first clue:

Somebody Doesn't Have a Date for Valentine's Day-415.jpg

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This One Doesn't Pass the Smell Test

By Bob on February 5, 2013 2:14 AM | Read More

Lemme give you a clue...

What's that smell-400.jpg

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Which Door Is It Again?

By Bob on January 29, 2013 2:09 AM | Read More

Oh...it's THAT door. Thanks!

Please Use Other Door-530.jpg

 

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Bad Kitty or Good Kitty? You Decide

By Bob on January 22, 2013 3:03 AM | Read More

I think this kitten knows who peed on the carpet. It's not telling...as long as everybody keeps their distance.

Dog Vs Cat-558.jpg


 

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Dreams Really Do Come True

By Bob on January 15, 2013 2:55 AM | Read More

Don't believe it? Well, this should convince you.

Dream Come True-500.jpg

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This Is How Mr. Tire Got His Bad Rep

By Bob on January 8, 2013 5:19 AM | Read More

He's the meanest MoFo on the freeway...


Mr. Tire Is The Scariest Mofo on the Freeway-jpg 

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We Can't Give 'Em Away

By Bob on January 1, 2013 5:11 AM | Read More

They say chocolate makes everything better...then again, maybe not.

Cadbury STD-416.jpg

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Safety Never Takes A Holiday

By Bob on December 25, 2012 5:22 AM | Read More

Then again, maybe it does.

Safety takes a holiday-515.jpg

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May I Put You On Hold?

By Bob on December 19, 2012 5:16 AM | Read More

Now you know why I can't get the song "Muskrat Love" out of my head.

Can I Put You On Hold-550.jpg

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This Sign Is Sexy And It Knows It

By Bob on December 11, 2012 3:09 AM | Read More

SEXITUP-500.jpg

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...and THAT'S Why They Call Me Moe

By Bob on December 4, 2012 5:01 AM | Read More

What he really needs is mo' hair...!
Mowhair-338.jpg

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A Sign That Somebody Read The Memo

By Bob on November 27, 2012 4:29 AM | Read More

To Touch A Child-600.jpg

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Here Kitty, Kitty...Oh, Forget It

By Bob on November 20, 2012 4:23 AM | Read More

This is pretty much what I look like after eating Thanksgiving dinner...
Kitty Gives Thumbs Up-500.jpg

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Please Don't

By Bob on November 13, 2012 4:19 AM | Read More

Ask for a demonstration-478.jpg

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Bearly There

By Bob on November 6, 2012 4:09 AM | Read More

You know what they say...payback's a B****. Or, in this case, maybe payback's a BEAR!

Hunting at night can be dangerous-537.jpg

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Thanks, But We'll Try Walgreen's

By Bob on October 30, 2012 6:18 AM | Read More

Flu...Kills...all I'm sayin'

Flu Shots-428.jpg

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It's the Great Pimpin Charlie Brown!

By Bob on October 23, 2012 7:46 AM | Read More


The Great Pimpin-500.jpg

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Redneck Shower Caddy

By Bob on October 16, 2012 6:19 AM | Read More

Jolene couldn't understand why Roy was taking such long showers...

Redneck shower-500.jpg

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I Never Got Close Enough to See Her

By Bob on October 9, 2012 6:11 AM | Read More

I almost ran out of gas following this truck...but no sign of what it was advertising.

There must've been 20 cars behind him-496.jpg

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It Cleans It Up, Too

By Bob on October 2, 2012 6:06 AM | Read More

Yeah it cleans it up, too-500.jpg

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A Little Personal

By Bob on September 25, 2012 5:59 AM | Read More

We knew little Brady was on to something when he decided to take his online dating profile to the next level...

A Little Personal-500.jpg

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Can You Spare a Square?

By Bob on September 18, 2012 5:53 AM | Read More

Not Sunday through Tuesday, I can't!

Taking this green movement a little too far-500.jpg

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But I AM Watching the Kids

By Bob on September 11, 2012 5:45 AM | Read More

This explains why Tiffany and Zachary are a little hyper...

Why the kids are a little hyper-452.jpg

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Hey Mom! I Found A Tutor!

By Bob on September 4, 2012 5:18 AM | Read More

Tutor - Sept - 500.jpg

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This May Be Why They Haven't Found A Cure

By Bob on August 28, 2012 5:09 AM | Read More

Drumming Up Business-550.jpg
Pingates

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There's Something Sleazy About This Place

By Bob on August 14, 2012 5:01 AM | Read More

I dunno, it's just a feeling I have...

Sleasy - yup-479.jpg

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So...This Is What Freedom Smells Like!

By Bob on August 7, 2012 4:53 AM | Read More

I'm guessing he didn't get an endorsement fee for this product.

The scent of freedom-500.jpg

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How NOT to Throw a Pool Party

By Bob on July 31, 2012 4:48 AM | Read More

Hey you...yeah the guy in the mandantory Hawaiian shirt...can't you read? NO HAVING FUN!

Pool Party-500.jpg

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I'm Stuck On You Dad...No, Really I'm STUCK on YOU

By Bob on July 24, 2012 4:41 AM | Read More

Honey, why don't you just put your feet up and watch the kids. I'll be right back...

I'm stuck on you daddy-500.jpg

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What's The Big Idea?

By Bob on July 17, 2012 4:37 AM | Read More

Oooooh that...!

Trojan-500.jpg

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Cloudy With a Chance of Insane

By Bob on July 10, 2012 4:25 AM | Read More

Hey! At least my shirt's dry...

Rain Man-500.jpg

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The Newspaper Story Said Everyone Had a Ball

By Bob on July 3, 2012 4:21 AM | Read More

Everyone Had a Ball-393.jpg

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Is It Hot In Here, Or Is It Just Me?

By Bob on June 26, 2012 4:05 AM | Read More

Me...it's definitely me...I gotta start putting on my glasses BEFORE I brush my teeth.

Hot mouth-499.jpg

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One of the Many Benefits of Consuming Alcohol

By Bob on June 19, 2012 3:55 AM | Read More


Drunk sign-398.jpg

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Headbanger With An Attitude

By Bob on June 12, 2012 9:00 AM | Read More

Gotta hand it to this kid...he knows what he wants!

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Somebody's Gonna Be Happy On Their Wedding Night

By Bob on June 5, 2012 3:38 AM | Read More

Ladies, maybe it's time to re-think this whole hyphenated last name deal...

No Hyphen Please-550.jpg

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He's Nothing But Hands...Seriously

By Bob on May 29, 2012 2:49 AM | Read More

Don't Flash the Octopus-300.jpg

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I Don't Know Why These Cakes Aren't Selling

By Bob on May 22, 2012 2:42 AM | Read More

Cake for sale-499.jpg

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Ised Be Thinking You Don't Know How To Spell

By Bob on May 15, 2012 2:36 AM | Read More

Ised thinking you don't know how to spell-500.jpg

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They Don't Take Crap From Anybody...Beginning Tomorrow

By Bob on May 8, 2012 2:27 AM | Read More

Toilet-500.jpg

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A Father's Worst Nightmare

By Bob on May 1, 2012 2:09 AM | Read More

Check out the small sign on the right-hand side...

Don't Laugh-500.jpg

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Just My Type...

By Bob on April 24, 2012 2:01 AM | Read More

The guy who wrote this sign has a 5-year plan...but I hear he's still working on the font.

Fortune 500 Company-500.jpg

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Redneck Curlers

By Bob on April 17, 2012 1:55 AM | Read More

You MIGHT be a Redneck if...

Redneck curlers-500.jpg

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Express Lane for People Who Can't Count

By Bob on April 10, 2012 1:46 AM | Read More

I hear this lane is very popular with toddlers...

Express Lane for Idiots-425.jpg

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Bull Shipper

By Bob on April 3, 2012 5:42 AM | Read More

That's the biggest load of bull-ship I've ever seen...
Bull Shipper-500.jpg

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Take Your Daughter to Work Day is Really Getting Out of Hand

By Bob on March 27, 2012 7:20 AM | Read More

They grow up sooooo fast...or for this Mom, maybe not fast enough.

Take your daughter to work day-484.jpg

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He Didn't Just Pass the Bar...

By Bob on March 20, 2012 6:32 AM | Read More

He passed the (bill)board...

Lawyer billboard-600.jpg

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When Grandma's Go Bad...

By Bob on March 13, 2012 6:22 AM | Read More

I hear she was picketing Victoria's Secret and needed a time out...

Outa Control Granny-392.jpg 

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One of the Drawbacks to Living in a College Town

By Bob on March 6, 2012 6:09 AM | Read More

I think the answer is 70...
Math Speed limit-500.jpg

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Funny, They All Taste This Way to Me...

By Bob on February 28, 2012 5:55 AM | Read More

I think I've had this kind before...didn't like it

New Flavor-550.jpg

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Another Reminder: Don't Text & Fry

By Bob on February 21, 2012 5:50 AM | Read More

But, I told you it was a HOT text!

Don't text & fry-500.jpg

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Cupid's Street Sign

By Bob on February 14, 2012 6:25 AM | Read More

Yeah, ol' Cupid's got a little Mowtown in him...

Stop in the Name of Love-350.jpg

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Panda Express

By Bob on February 7, 2012 3:36 AM | Read More

More eucalyptus leaves, sir?

Panda Express-500.jpg

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The Guys at the Concession Stand Didn't Like the Competition

By Bob on January 31, 2012 3:51 AM | Read More

Must've been screening that new mystery thriller, "The Queso the Missing Enchilada."

No Tortillas-500.jpg

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Sounds Like a Good Idea to Me

By Bob on January 24, 2012 3:45 AM | Read More

Their other sign read: "In case of fire, yell FIRE!"

Evacuation Plan-498.jpg

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Do as I Say, Not as I Do

By Bob on January 17, 2012 3:42 AM | Read More


Drive Safely-500.jpg

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Dumb as a Bottle of Rocks

By Bob on January 10, 2012 3:39 AM | Read More

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That's Why I Call Him "Frisky"

By Bob on January 3, 2012 4:30 AM | Read More

Yep, he's bad to the bone...
Dog-400.jpg

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R.I.P. The Little Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

By Bob on December 27, 2011 5:38 AM | Read More

When the time came, her kids knew what to do...and so did her sole mate.

Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe Coffin - 500.jpg

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Santa's Gonna Get a Blast Out of This House

By Bob on December 20, 2011 5:31 AM | Read More

I fixed the doorbell - 600.jpg

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I'm So Glad They Rejected The Other Advertising Idea

By Bob on December 13, 2011 3:24 AM | Read More

Maybe the worst plumber's advertising ever...no if's, and's or butt's about it...

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Orange You Glad You Take Viagra?

By Bob on December 6, 2011 3:00 AM | Read More

Thought so...

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This Day In History...

By Bob on November 29, 2011 5:46 AM | Read More

These guys came up with the idea for the iPhone...

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Shel Silverstein Had It Figured Out Long Ago

By Bob on November 22, 2011 5:39 AM | Read More


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Well, Isn't This Just Ducky?

By Bob on November 15, 2011 5:26 AM | Read More

...and then we discovered the Aflac duck had fallen on hard times.

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Here's An Idea - Let's Cut Defense Spending

By Bob on November 8, 2011 5:11 AM | Read More

On second thought...nahhhh!

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Man's Best Friend?

By Bob on November 1, 2011 5:01 AM | Read More

Yeah, I think we've got proof...

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Arrrrrgggghhhh!

By Bob on October 25, 2011 5:24 AM | Read More

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I Thought I Asked You To Wash The Dog.

By Bob on October 18, 2011 5:17 AM | Read More

OK, anything else?

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Anything Sounds Good To Me.

By Bob on October 11, 2011 5:11 AM | Read More

When I asked Charlotte where she wanted to go for dinner she said, "I don't care. Anything sounds good to me." Big mistake... 

 

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Time to Get Kitty a New Name.

By Bob on October 4, 2011 4:01 AM | Read More

If you think that's bad, she's also a dog named "Rape" and parrot named "Fire"...

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We Can't Take Him Anywhere.

By Bob on September 27, 2011 6:28 AM | Read More

This was the day Ruffles decided he wasn't going to take crap from anyone...

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I Don't Use Plastic Bags.

By Bob on September 20, 2011 5:57 AM | Read More

I'm thinking she should run for Congress.

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Members Only?

By Bob on September 13, 2011 5:49 AM | Read More

Stay with me, it looks like we're going in.

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They Grow Up So Fast.

By Bob on September 6, 2011 5:41 AM | Read More

It was the first day of Kindergarten and even the teachers were saying he was mature for his age...

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Is This The Worst TV Commercial Ever?

By Bob on August 30, 2011 4:56 AM | Read More

Well, if it isn't the worst I'd hate to see what beats it. This one has it all - 80's hair, bad acting and an eagle that, well...you'll have to see it to believe it!

 

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If Only Protest Signs Had Spell Check...

By Bob on August 23, 2011 1:50 AM | Read More

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A Trucker is Born

By Bob on August 16, 2011 2:39 AM | Read More

When a mommy trucker and a daddy trucker love each other very much...well, you get the idea.

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Tempting Offer, But I'll Pass...

By Bob on August 9, 2011 6:19 AM | Read More

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Guess I'll Walk To Work Today...

By Bob on August 2, 2011 5:43 AM | Read More

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I've Eaten Here Before...

By Bob on July 26, 2011 6:48 AM | Read More

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Save Paper

By Bob on July 19, 2011 4:56 AM | Read More

I guess this is OK since I got this in an email...then copied it and handed it out to 100 of my friends.

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Crappy Service

By Bob on July 12, 2011 3:34 AM | Read More

Yeah, I think I've eaten here before...

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Dead Solid Perfect

By Bob on July 5, 2011 3:31 AM | Read More

Somebody in the billboard business has a wicked sense of humor...

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I said I'd pick you up in a limo. What's the problem?

By Bob on June 28, 2011 5:46 AM | Read More

We had a limo to our high school prom, too. What makes YOU so special?

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Things are Tough All over

By Bob on June 21, 2011 5:09 AM | Read More

You know the economy is bad when toddlers turn into bill collectors...
When Harry Met Sally 2 with Billy Crystal & Helen Mirren from Billy Crystal

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The Difference Between Men & Women Finally Explained

By Bob on June 14, 2011 5:20 AM | Read More

Ok, NOW I get it...

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Working Hard, or Hardly Working?

By Bob on June 7, 2011 3:20 AM | Read More

I think we know the answer to that one...

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Looks Like Those Education Cuts Are Starting to Pay Off...

By Bob on May 31, 2011 6:11 AM | Read More

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You'll Excuse Me If We Don't Shake Hands...because,

By Bob on May 24, 2011 4:16 AM | Read More

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The Buck Stops Here...ewwwww!

By Bob on May 17, 2011 1:59 AM | Read More

See what happens when the kids get into the deer corn...

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Hot from the Oven...?

By Bob on May 10, 2011 3:45 AM | Read More

Don't you think we're taking this whole "truth in advertising" thing a bit too far?

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Hello

By Bob on May 3, 2011 5:41 AM | Read More

I think I remember seeing this guy in the 80's. Since then, not so much...

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We Can Repair (almost) Anything

By Bob on April 26, 2011 4:07 AM | Read More

Guess I need to find another handyman...

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This is how Jeffrey Dahmer got started

By Bob on April 19, 2011 7:44 AM | Read More

This vintage ad from a "men's magazine" is probably the reason it isn't around any more. Thanks to our friends at Copyranter for finding this gem.

This is how Jeffery Dahmer Got Started-250.jpg

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What's That Smell?

By Bob on April 12, 2011 5:10 AM | Read More

Thanks to my cousin John Henry for passing this one along!

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Take this Toy for a Spin

By Bob on April 5, 2011 5:29 AM | Read More

This probably explains why I felt dizzy throughout the entire third grade...
 

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Here's what happens when you blow the music video budget on drugs

By Bob on March 29, 2011 6:02 AM | Read More


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When good turkeys go bad

By Bob on March 22, 2011 6:06 AM | Read More

Turkey Hooker.jpg

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Don't sing if you don't know the words

By Bob on March 15, 2011 6:56 AM | Read More

That's what our friend Becky Elder says...and you know what? These guys prove she's right!

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Gettin' real with the Man of Steel...

By Bob on March 8, 2011 6:50 AM | Read More


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Yeah, that's the one I want...

By Bob on March 1, 2011 6:36 AM | Read More

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Pizza's Here!

By Bob on February 22, 2011 6:31 AM | Read More

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I Hear the Tractor Has a Record Deal

By Bob on February 15, 2011 6:26 AM | Read More

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Somebody's Looking for You...

By Bob on February 15, 2011 6:11 AM | Read More

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Gettin' Ready for Valentine's Day

By Bob on February 7, 2011 10:50 AM | Read More

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When Sally Field Liked to Get High

By Bob on February 1, 2011 6:01 AM | Read More

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You're going the wrong way...!

By Bob on January 25, 2011 6:33 AM | Read More

How do they know where I'm going?

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Elvis is still the king...of the universe

By Bob on January 18, 2011 6:29 AM | Read More

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You think it's snowed a lot where you live? Ha!

By Bob on January 11, 2011 6:11 AM | Read More

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From the "After the horse has left the barn" dept.

By Bob on January 4, 2011 6:04 AM | Read More

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BBQ Feets don't fail me now

By Bob on December 28, 2010 5:35 AM | Read More

Remember SNL's "It's a floor wax. It's a dessert topping." commerical spoof? This guy's got 'em beat...

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I saw this in the window and just had to have it!

By Bob on December 21, 2010 6:35 AM | Read More

Now I understand why Charlotte hates getting tapped for Bridesmaid duty. Any time your dress has to match the drapes you just know you're in trouble...

It's Curtains for You and You - 350.jpg

Enhanced by Zemanta

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Rock 'n Roll Directions on How to Get Anywhere

By Bob on December 14, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

How to Get Anywhere - 450.jpg

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God Bless the Repo Man

By Bob on December 7, 2010 6:49 AM | Read More

Here's just one more reason to love that Repo Man!

 

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Another Reason to be Frightened by the Jolly Green Giant

By Bob on November 30, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Green Giant - 349.jpgCheck out the label for Mexicorn. A product that sadly is no longer available in Arizona...

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This Woman's Been to Canada Thanks to the Plastic Surgery

By Bob on November 23, 2010 6:35 AM | Read More

Ok, I guess it's official. Good looking people really do have more fun than the rest of us!

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The First Female President of the United States

By Bob on November 16, 2010 6:02 AM | Read More

I'm guessing that this little girl will become the first female president of the United States. Don't believe me? Watch this!

 

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Just in Time for Those Christmas Parties

By Bob on November 9, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This great new party helper comes with everything except the surgery needed to repair the hernia it'll give you...

 

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Isn't There A Law Against This?

By Bob on November 2, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This is illegal in 49 states...guess where we found this sign...

Young Girls Wanted.jpg

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That's What I Call a Sale!

By Bob on October 26, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Take that WalMart...!

That's What I Call a Sale!.jpg

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Here Kitty, Kitty

By Bob on October 19, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This cat is the mascot of the Department of Redundancy Department.

Here Kitty Kitt.jpg

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Take Your Kid to Work Day Isn't Always the Best Idea

By Bob on October 12, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Boomers, I don't know about you but I think this whole Take Your Kid To Work Day idea is a load of crap. By the looks of this photo, there's at least one kid who probably agrees with me...

Why Take Your Kid to Work Day Is a Bad Idea.jpg

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This Is What Happens When You Cut Funding For The Arts

By Bob on October 5, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Litttle Billy was saddened to hear that his school district had discontinued middle school band due to budget constraints. He decided to take matters into his own hands.

This Is What Happens When They Reduce Funding for the Arts.jpg

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Maybe This is Why Pontiac Isn't Around Anymore

By Bob on September 28, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This 1950's ad for Pontiac reminds me that yes, we have evolved over the last 60+ years. Then again, maybe not. A close look shows that this happy couple is enjoying the back seat...something that remains popular to this day.

Spread Your Legs for a Pontiac.jpg 

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Ron Burgundy Lands Anchor Gig in Russia

By Bob on September 21, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I'm Ron Burgundy and I'm not wearing pants...seriously dude, put some pants on!

  

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How to Make a Good Impression

By Bob on September 14, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This puts makin' copies in a whole 'nother light. 

 

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Snow White Got Busted

By Bob on September 7, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I guess it was only a matter of time. Word on the street is that Dopey was the one who ratted her out. Snow White Got Busted.jpg

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We've Got Company!

By Bob on August 31, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Ever notice that in just about every action movie made in the past 40 years there is a point where someone says, "We've Got Company!". Me neither. But, these guys DID and the result is pretty funny.

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I Hear She's Great In Bed

By Bob on August 24, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Great in Bed.jpg

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If You Think This is Good, You Should See Them Change The Channel

By Bob on August 17, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

If you drop the remote in here, you don't want to pick it up. Then again, they probably just leave the dish set on Animal Planet.

 

Happy Cows.jpg 

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Geezer Crossing

By Bob on August 10, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I think this new road sign was part of the Stimulus Package. Looks like this city got theirs just in the nick of time. Thanks to our friends at Stupid Videos for the great image.

 

Geezer Crossing.jpg

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How Not to Break Up

By Bob on August 3, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This boy is in serious need of a father-son talk.

 

How Not to Break Up.jpg

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Why Britney Spears Lost Custody

By Bob on July 27, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This may explain why Britney Spears lost custody of the kids.

 

Why Britney Spears Lost Custody.jpg

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I Say A Little Prayer for You

By Bob on July 20, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I don't think Dionne Warwick had this kind of prayer in mind when she recorded the Burt Bacharach classic. Then again, maybe she did. You all remember how Whitney turned out don't you?

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A Great Place to Chunk Your Junk

By Bob on July 13, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Running out of room in the ol' double-wide? Well, turn your worries over to Mr. Jones. He has ALL the answers to your storage needs.

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Naughty But Knife

By Bob on July 6, 2010 6:06 AM | Read More

Down here in Texas, our child welfare laws are what you call "cutting edge". The video explains why...  

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Don't Make Me Come Back There!

By Bob on June 29, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I think this little girl gives new meaning to the phrase, "Drama Queen". I'm sure Mommy will forgive her in 10-20 years.

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The Only Flowers You Should Ever Give A Guy

By Bob on June 22, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

The Only Flowers You Should Ever Give A Guy.jpgMaybe this bouquet is her way of calling him a pig. Ummm....bacon!

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Somebody's Taking This Global Warming Thing Into His Own Hands

By Bob on June 15, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Somebody's Taking This Global Warming Problem Into His Own Hands.jpgAl Gore tells me he snapped this picture this winter just north of Wasilla, Alaska. From the looks of it, I'd say this Global Warming s*** is getting serious.

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A Sign You Should Stop Eating Hot Dogs

By Bob on June 9, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

There only a few places I'll eat a hot dog. From the looks of this sign, I'll be taking China off my list.

A Sign You Should Stop Eating Hot Dogs.jpg

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Why You Should Never Trust A Facebook Profile Picture

By Bob on June 8, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

The next time you wonder why your Facebook friends never seem to age, remember this video.

 

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This Can Hurt You In So Many Ways

By Bob on June 1, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

This Can Hurt You In So Many Ways.jpgI think I've found the answer why the Swiss were neutral during WWII. Their weapons weren't only powerful, they were DELICIOUS!

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Here's a Tip. Don't Call Me Ma'am.

By Bob on May 25, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Who You Calling Maam.jpgMemo to all you Barrista's out there. When you call a Boomer Sista Ma'am, you're blowing your tip.

You.  Have.  Been.  Warned.

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Trolling for a New Girlfriend

By Bob on May 18, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

If James Bond had ever been into bass fishing, his rig might have looked a little like this. 

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Boomerisms

By Bob on May 17, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Bad Things Happen to Good People.jpg#19 Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Don't let either of these make you bitter.

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Bacon Nirvana

By Bob on May 11, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Bacon Nirvana.jpgThis Bacon Mug is every guy's fantasy come true. It has every heart-stopping thing imaginable: biscuits (for molding the cup), cheese (both cream and Swiss) and lots of bacon. The Holy Grail of gluttony totals 2400 calories and 158 grams of fat. Under the new healthcare guidelines this dish must be served with 100mg of Zocor and three complimentary stents.

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The First Doggy Bag

By Bob on May 4, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Doggy Bag - 350.jpgThis product was probably never endorsed by the ASPCA, but we did a LOT of stuff back then that wasn't good for man or beast!

 

 

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Boomerisms

By Bob on May 3, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Mexican Restaurant Kitchen.jpg#17 If you're invited into the kitchen of your favorite Mexican restaurant, politely decline the offer.

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Just Eat It

By Bob on April 27, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Just Eat It - 350.jpg

Now, thanks to science we can easily decide if that piece of cheese you dropped on the floor is really still edible.

 

All I can say is that I can't wait for the IPhone App.

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Boldly Going Where No Family Should Ever Go

By Bob on April 20, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Star Trek Family - 325.jpg

Here's what the photographer overheard during the photo shoot:

Mom: "Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Dad: "Honey, don't you think you should lay off the Moon Pies?"

Little Billy: "Hey Sis, is that Uranus?"    

Big Brother Todd: "I'm wearing this to the home school prom!"

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Billy, Your Bus is Here!

By Bob on April 13, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

School Bus Is Here - 300.jpgNow that Richard Petty has retired he's taken up driving the kids to school.  Something tells me boys and girls on his route are getting to class a little ahead of the other kids.

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Great News Honey, I Fixed the Shower!

By Bob on April 6, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I Got The Shower Fixed - 300.jpgOf course what she's overlooking is that this is an incredible time saver. Now you can hose down the lawnmower and take a shower at the same time.  How cool is that!

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Parenting in 2010

By Bob on March 30, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Remember when parents used to push their children in strollers?  Neither do I.

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It's a Fine Line Between Princess and Diva

By Bob on March 23, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Princess or Diva - 300.jpgThis picture makes me think that somewhere there's a Prince Charming laughing his a** off!

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If Geeks Had Rock Bands They'd Look A Lot Like This

By Bob on March 16, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

These are a bunch of computer guys with way too much time on their hands.  You have to admit however, that they make Tom Hank's piano solo in Big look pretty lame.

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You're Tone Deaf. Now, Tell That on the Mountain!

By Bob on March 9, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I'm sure Henrietta and Merna have their hearts in the right place, but would somebody please tell them they can't sing?  Merna on the other hand, never looked happier.  Guess she was upset over Henrietta getting the solo.   

 

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Kidski's and Brewski's

By Bob on March 2, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

After a long day fingerpainting nothing quite says refreshment like a cold, tall Hamm's beer.  It's the beer that made nap time famous (and necessary!).  In the spirit of full disclosure, that's me on the right.

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The Good Ol' Days We're Horrible

By Bob on February 23, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Ah, the good old days...steel dashboards, pointy knobs, lots and lots of glass and no seat belts!  It's a wonder we made it this far. 

 

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Who You Callin' Turkey?

By Bob on February 16, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I have a friend that eats, sleeps and breathes hunting (you know who you are, Tommy).  But, if he ever suggested a picture like this to his wife -- he'd be the one hanging upside down.  

Turkey Season - 350.jpg

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Something Tells Me She'll Make it Past the TSA, Too

By Bob on February 9, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Future terrorist or cute kid? It's always been a very fine line.

Cute Kid or Future Terrorist.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Bad Toupee - Great Chicken!

By Bob on February 2, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Anyplace where you can get crappy furniture and great fried chicken is OK by me.  See what you think... 

 

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Get Yourself A Mobile Home

By Bob on January 26, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Charlotte and I have seen this mobile home lot countless times on our road trips through Mississippi.  You may never need a double-wide, but if you do I'd recommend not haggling with this guy.

 

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Giving 2009 One Last Kick in the Butt

By Bob on January 19, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Nobody does compliation videos better than the guys at JibJab.  Their send up of one of the suckiest years on record won't make you nostalgic, but it will make you laugh.  Check it out. 

 

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There Are No Second Acts

By Bob on January 12, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

I like Mike Nesmith, I really do.  First off, he's a TEXAN.  If you want to stop right there it's OK with me.  But ask yourself this question.  What other band had four, count 'em, FOUR albums in the Top 10 in the same year?  The Monkee's. 

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.  Trouble is, these guys didn't have a second act as this video painfully illustrates.  I don't know which is worse, the cheesy special "effects," bad choreography or the song.  You decide and let me know.

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How to Lose That Holiday Weight

By Bob on January 5, 2010 6:00 AM | Read More

Here's all you need to lose the weight you put on over the holidays - if you don't mind looking like an alien and dehydration doesn't scare you. 

I'm not sure, but I think the same people might have invented the Snuggie.  Check it out and see what you think.

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The Best Food Ever!

By Bob on December 29, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

I don't believe it's an exaggeration to call this the BEST FOOD EVER INVENTED.  I don't know (or care) how Justin and Dave (the brains behind J&D's) came up with this great BACON FLAVORED POPCORN, but they did and the rest is tastebud history.  

Bacon Popcorn.jpg   

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Give the Gift That Sucks This Christmas

By Bob on December 22, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

This ad comes from the "What Were They Thinking?" Dept. 

Here's a handy tip for all you Boomer guys out there.  If you don't want your wife to go all MRS. TIGER WOODS ON YOUR BEHIND you'll stay away from gifts like this.

 

Give the Gift That Really Sucks.jpg

 Thanks to our friends at Copyranter for this nice little piece of Christmas Cheer!

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Just Another Chip in the Bowl...

By Bob on December 15, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

If I'm hearing this correctly, I think they're singing:

"We don't need no en-chill-la-das"
"We don't need no sauce control"
"No carne asada in the classroom"
"Waiters leave them chips alone"
"Hey! Waiters! Leave them chips alone!"
"All in all it's just another chip in the bowl"
"All in all you're just another chip in the bowl"

Watch the video and see what you think.

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Merry Christmas Golfers!

By Bob on December 8, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Boomers, all I'm saying is that if I gave this gift to Charlotte I'd wind up with a putter in a very uncomfortable location.


Watch CBS News Videos Online

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The Anti-Griswold

By Bob on December 1, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Boomers, if I lived next door to Clark Griswold I'd be tempted to do something like this, too. 

Merry Christmas - Ditto.jpg

My friend Jesse Owens sent me this great photo to put me in a holiday mood.  In addition to having a keen eye for Christmas cheer, Jesse's about the best executive recruiter in the country.  Check him out at Merle Owens & Associates in Bedford, TX.

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Thanksgiving, the Elvis Way.

By Bob on November 24, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

I was cleaning out a file and ran across this rendering of Elvis at the first Thanksgiving. Cole did this work Puritan Elvis.jpgof art in the first or second grade.  Yeah, that's right, when other kids were tracing their hands and drawing make believe turkeys, Cole was imagining Elvis at the first Thanksgiving.  You have to give the guy credit, it's an amazing likeness. 

It's almost like you're there sitting next to the King of Rock 'n Roll.  Can't you just hear him say, "Colonel, how 'bout passin' me the stuffing and another jelly doughnut....thank ya very much!"

Happy Thanksgiving, Boomers!

 

 

 

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Sweet Home Quadalajara

By Bob on November 17, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

When you eat at a Mexican restaurant in Alabama, you may get something that's not on the menu.  Here's one for all you Skynyrd fans... 

 

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Deja Vu All Over Again

By Bob on November 10, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Sarah Haskins thinks you've probably seen these movies before.  I think she may be right. 

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Daily Distraction

Redneck Pawnshop

By Bob on November 3, 2009 9:29 AM | Read More

Trust me guys, nothing says "I Love You" like his-'n-hers chainsaws.  At least that's what this commercial told me. 

 

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Daily Distraction

A Remake of The Shining Just in Time for Halloween

By Bob on October 27, 2009 6:01 AM | Read More

Trust me, this will have you thinking about The Shining in a whole 'nother way.

 

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Daily Distraction

Imagine Jurassic Park Directed by Jerry Lewis

By Bob on October 20, 2009 6:17 AM | Read More

If you found Jurassic Park just a little too scary, this video will let you have your revenge.  All I can say is HEY! 

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Daily Distraction

Ricky Bobby Gets Down With The Big Guy

By Bob on October 13, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Our friends at The Daily Beast came across this clip from Will Ferrell's classic "Talladega Nights" and it gave me the best laugh of the day.  As any Boomer guy will tell you, Talladega Nights is no "Caddyshack" when it comes to quotable dialog, but this scene shows why it's a close second. 

So, click on the video and watch Ricky Bobby say grace.  Maybe you can decide which version of the deity you like best.  Me, I'm going with John C. Reilly on this one.  You just can't beat an eagle-winged deity singing Free Bird...

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Daily Distraction

NORMAL is Just a Setting on a Dryer

By Bob on September 22, 2009 10:36 AM | Read More

Nobody likes doing laundry, but Sarah Haskins puts a whole new spin on it.  Check out her video and you'll see why NORMAL is just a setting on a dryer! 

 

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Daily Distraction

Must Love Jaws

By Bob on September 9, 2009 9:06 AM | Read More

Jaws was really a romantic comedy?  Who knew?!

 

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Daily Distraction

Recession Proof

By Bob on August 17, 2009 11:21 AM | Read More

Or should we say, proof of the recession?

Employee of the Month.jpg

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Daily Distraction

Know When to Hold 'em

By Bob on August 3, 2009 12:06 AM | Read More

My cousin John Henry sent me this hilarious Baby Boomer commercial from the folks at Centrum vitamins.  If you don't recognize yourself in this spot, you're just not trying.  Enjoy!  

 

 

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Daily Distraction

Maybe the Call Center in Mumbai Could Have Done Better

By Bob on July 22, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Goodbye Cake.jpg

The co-worker was leaving and it was time for the lets-have-some-cake-and-blow-off-the-rest-of-the-afternoon-party.  Sounds like a good idea, right?  It was, until they called the bakery. 

 

For the record, the bakery clerk was told the cake should read, "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that, write, "We Will Miss You".  Some things just can't be handled over the phone...

 

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Daily Distraction

This Sucks

By Bob on July 7, 2009 11:47 AM | Read More

As our FAQs clearly indicate I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to home repair.  This video was sent to us by my good friend and former roommate, Lewis.  Lewis has first-hand experience with my un-handyman ways.  He thought this was a repair idea so simple that even I could do it. 

 

Check out the video for the next time somebody you love calls out from the bathroom and says, "Hey, can you help me get my ring?" 

 

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Daily Distraction

James Loves Mary

By Bob on June 29, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Cole.jpg

Been a while since you've seen that one, right?  You're not alone. 

 

According to the Social Security Department James and Mary were the most popular names the first year of the Baby Boomer generation (1946).  Since that time, names have fallen in and out of fashion as moms and dads strived to be trendy...but not too trendy.  If you're like me, you probably went to school with a lot of James (he was my arch nemesis, but that's the subject of another post) and I flirted with my share of Marys.

 

The James and Marys of '46 have given way to today's Jacob and Emma.  According to the government, they're the two most popular names in 2008.  I'm betting a couple of you Boomers have grandchildren with those names or a version of them.

 

You can search for your name - and its popularity for the year you were born (I came in at #4 - my parents weren't too trendy) by clicking on this link to the Social Security Office.

 

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Daily Distraction

Buy This CD At Your Own Risk

By Bob on June 15, 2009 11:42 AM | Read More

I bought Charlotte the new Kelly Clarkson CD for her birthday.  I knew when I walked out of Best Buy she'd play it so often I'd be hearing it in my sleep.  Turns out I was right.  But, if you like pop songs there are worse offerings out there.  Hey, anybody remember "Incense and Peppermints" from the Strawberry Alarm Clock?  See, we really have progressed!

 

Kelly Clarkson - New Music - More Music Videos

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Daily Distraction

A Sign You're Interested in the Wrong Neighborhood

By Bob on June 9, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

For Sale Sign.jpg

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Daily Distraction

Barbie at 50

By Bob on May 12, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Barbie at 50.jpg

Another Boomer has celebrated a milestone birthday: Barbie.  Of course, since she's Barbie, nothing much has changed.  She's still single (Ken had commitment issues) and from what I can tell, her personality today is just as plastic as it was 50 years ago. 

 

Like the rest of us, she's gone through careers - some worked out (Model Barbie wasn't much of a stretch) and some didn't (Rodeo Barbie never could get back on that horse).  And don't get me started about her experimentation phase.  Midge said it was only one time and they were both drunk on tequila shots. 

 

As the photo clearly shows, the years have been tough but she's probably looking better than Ken.  I hear he's lost most of his hair, put on 40 pounds and spends entirely too much time on Facebook.   

 

If you'd like to see Barbie in action today, check out the link for "Cougar Barbie."  Yeah, it's a little mean, but I hear she was a real bitch when she drank.  At least that's what Skipper and P.J. tell me. 

 

Cougar Barbie

 

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Daily Distraction

How to Beat up Anything

By Bob on May 6, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Ok, I'll admit to owning at least one copy of the "Worst Case Scenario" handbook. I mean, c'mon you never know when you'll need to get out of quicksand and an alligator is swimming towards you. 

The How to Beat up Anything (www.howtobeatupanything.com) site, however, leaves the Worst Case guys in the dust (sorry fellows, love your work but there's a new sheriff in town).  Want to know which weapon to choose if you're ever thrown into the Roman Coliseum and have to fight to the death?  How-to-beat-up-anything will tell you (spoiler alert - DON'T CHOOSE THE WEIGHTED NET). 

What if you find yourself fighting Mark Wahlberg and a T-Rex?  The How-to-beat-up-anything guys have you covered on this one, too.  Ditto, how to beat up someone from Delaware, singer Aimee Mann and (my favorite) how to beat up a Trojan horse.

It's all funny stuff and (at least partially) serious.  As for that tip on how to get out of quicksand?  Email bob@boomerbrief.com and I'll tell you how to do it.  I don't think the Worst Case guys would mind me passing along that important information.  Seriously dude, this could save your life some day.

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Daily Distraction

Top Ten Country Songs

By Bob on April 14, 2009 6:00 AM | Read More

Boomer buddy Jay Elder gave us this list of the Top 10 Country songs.  In addition to being a lover of fine country music, Jay's an insurance expert with a knack for helping Boomers with their insurance needs.  

 

Top 10 Country Songs

 

10.  I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9.    I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few
8.    If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7.    I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'
6.    Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5.    I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4.    My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3.    She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2.    She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

 

And the Number One Country Song.... 

 

1.   It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long

 

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Daily Distraction

Hampton Court Palace

By Bob on March 25, 2009 12:18 PM | Read More

London's Hampton Court Palace.jpgI took this photo at Hampton Court Palace just outside of London.  It's the former home of King Henry VIII and the grounds are amazing (but then, if you had the Queen's money your backyard could be amazing, too).  If your budget doesn't allow transatlantic travel this summer, you can still take a look: http://www.hrp.org.uk/hamptoncourtpalace/

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Red Thong Strong: Girlfriends Little Secrets to Smoothing Lifes Panty Lines
In the Mirror

IT Cosmetics Travel Essentials

It travel sizes 600.jpg

Next weekend, I'm flying to Florida to visit my sister Pam. My mom Patsy is also making the trip but she's driving. That means she has the luxury of taking four suitcases on last count compared to my one. (No, she's not moving in!)

For a split second, I was jealous of all that packing room. Just think how many pairs of shoes I could bring. But no worries, thanks to the anti-aging skincare and beauty pros at IT Cosmetics, I won't need anywhere near that much space. They've come out with convenient, grab-and-go sizes of some of their best sellers.

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Playing Favorites

Bloodline Season 3

If you're a fan of the sensational Netflix series Bloodline, I've got good news and bad news for you. First the bad: Season 3 will be the last of the acclaimed series. The good: You can binge watch it May 26.

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