Paul McCartney Really is Dead at The Boomer Brief

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Paul McCartney Really is Dead

By Bob on October 1, 2010 6:49 AM

The first thing you learn when you enter the blogosphere is that the world is filled with folks who love a good conspiracy. I have friends like that. Hell, I once shared an office with a guy who was a pallbearer for Lee Harvey Oswald and who knew more about the Kennedy assassination than the Warren Commission.

So when I got this pitch for a new, tell-all conspiracy movie, Paul McCartney Really is Dead. The Last Testament of George Harrison? I said to myself, "Bob, the internets have spoken. You must take this to the ~~four~~ millions of people who read The Boomer Brief."

Since I didn't want any of you to have a conspiracy theory about me hiding this valuable information, I read the DVD cover and popped into my unit (hey, I thought this was a family blog!). The conspiracy theory behind Paul McCartney Really is Dead is pretty simple as conspiracies go.

In the summer of 2005 a package from London with no return address was delivered to Hwy 61 Entertainment in California. Inside were a micro-cassette tape recorder and two mini-cassette tapes labeled The Last Testament of George Harrison.

On the tapes, the quiet Beatle describes in graphic detail, Paul McCartney's death (decapitated in an automobile accident) and the cover up that's lasted for the past 41 years. I know what you're thinking internets. A four-decade conspiracy that involves millions of people starting with the Queen of England and going all the way down to RINGO? It almost sounds TOO EASY.

There are two problems with this story:

The "George Harrison" narrating the film sounds like ME with a worse British accent.
Harrison's "facts" are really just recycled versions of every bad, it-says-this-when-you-play-it-backwards, urban legend out there.

Combine all of this with a directorial style somewhere between Monty Python and Dateline NBC and you'll have a good idea of what's on the DVD.

But hey, you want revelations? We got your revelations RIGHT HERE:

Paul McCartney was buried in an unmarked grave and replaced by the winner of a radio station lookalike contest.
The remaining Beatles were told by MI5 (the British CIA) that the QUEEN had decided Paul's death would cause mass hysteria and would lead to the suicide of thousands of teenage girls. It was in the country's "national interest" to cover up his death.
The MI5 agent in charge of the cover up was - wait for it - MAXWELL (as in "Maxwell's Silver Hammer").
John, George and Ringo referred to Paul's replacement as "Faul" (false Paul).
Groupie/photographer Linda Eastman had evidence of the cover up and threatened to tell all if Paul (Faul) didn't marry her and teach her to play music.
John Lennon's death was caused by MI5 agent after he told Maxwell he was going to blow the whistle on the operation.
There was a survivor of McCartney's car crash - a girl named "Rita" (aka, Lovely Rita Meter Maid). When Linda died, she said she'd spill the beans if McCartney didn't marry her (yep, that's how we get Heather Mills).

And then, there's the crazy stuff.

The only question left unanswered was how stupid they expect their audience to be. My theory is that these guys are either seriously gullible, or have their tongues planted firmly in their cheeks - which would explain narrator George's horrendously bad British accent.

The movie covers so many clues to the "death" of Paul McCartney, but crack blogger that I am, I've discovered the one they missed.

If you play Paul McCartney Really is Dead backwards it says: Save Your Money. This Movie Sucks.

Boomer Brief Conspiracy Bonus

If you want to see conspiracy done well, check out my buddy (and former cubicle mate) Jim Marrs.

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Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals

Image credit: Colin Erricson

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