Don't Try This At Home

The Real Whiz

By Bob on October 11, 2010 6:34 AM

A few days ago I travelled up to Philadelphia on some book bidness. I was speaking at a cancer conference and doing some TV promotion in the city of brotherly love.


Up until then, theCheese Steak-350.jpg closest I'd ever been to Philly was yelling #%*&@#*! at the TV during a Sunday afternoon Cowboys game.


Every city has a signature food - you know what I mean - in Dallas/Fort Worth it's actually three foods - they are:
BROWN, and of course, my favorite...


In Philly, the signature dish is the Philadelphia Cheesesteak.


I don't know the origin of this delicacy, but as I told the little old lady behind the lunch counter, Dude, you had me at cheese!


This is of course, when she uttered the witty reply, Wit, Witout?

Papa Smurf-200.jpg

WIT is Philly-speak for with onions. WITOUT means without onions. It's the kind of culinary shorthand I like. Sorta like diner speak - Adam & Eve on a raft. Wreck 'em! (scrambled eggs on toast). Or, in New Mexico - Red or Green? (as in, what kind of chili's do you want?).


Since I had a dinner meeting I chose WITOUT, but kept the peppers and other stuff just to give me some street cred. WHICH I GOT, then TOTALLY LOST. I'll explain.


Not Bob


They had enough napkins to write One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich in longhand, in the original Russian.     



There's one more option on the cheesesteak that can throw the novice (insert Bob's name HERE). You have to know what KIND of CHEESE you want.


Options are usually provolone, cheddar or Cheez Whiz.


How do you like 'em? I asked.


The next thing I knew I was chowing down on a serious Philly cheesesteak swimming - in Cheez Whiz.


It looked like they'd applied it with a front end loader. I was in cheesesteak heaven. Before I'd taken bite #2, so was my entire face.


I looked like Papa Smurf with a yellow, Philly cheese beard.


One look at my remaining napkins and I knew I wasn't even close to having enough. Trouble was, I was outside and there was NO WAY I was leaving my delicious sammich to be crapped on by pigeons. I soldiered on.


I started eyeing the four women at the table beside me who were eating SALADS at a CHEESESTEAK place. And I thought I didn't have any street cred! They had enough napkins to write One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich in longhand, in the original Russian.


They probably thought I was checking them out. And I was. I seriously wanted their leftover napkins.


I was quickly running out of options. Just before I leaned down to have the German shepherd service dog lick my face, the elderly woman from the lunch counter appeared out of nowhere. She dropped a load of napkins on my table and wandered off before I could swallow and thank her.


Hmmm....I thought as I wiped the yellow, gloppy goo from my happy cheesesteak face, maybe this is why they call this place the City of Brotherly Love.




It's probably why Stallone had to run up all those damned steps to get in shape for Rocky VI.

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Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

ChickenBurritoBowlEverydayDiabetes 600.jpg

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

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