Don't Try This At Home

4 Things I Know About Italy

By Bob on September 22, 2012 1:25 PM

Coliseum-600.jpgCharlotte and I like to travel and it doesn't take much to get us out the door and down the jetway. We've been talking about going to Italy (not Italy, Texas, but the Justin-Boot-shaped COUNTRY, y'all) for a long time.


Turns out our friends Gene and Shelley Tyler and Jerry and Debbie Williams had the same idea. In a moment of sheer brilliance (you know we're not talking about me now, right?), somebody said, "Hey, why don't we plan a trip to Italy?" You know what Internets? That's what we went and did.


None of us have ever been, so we'll be seeing things we've never seen. Eating foods we've never eaten. And spending money our children would rather we saved for them. BOO-YAH. It'll be a cultural exchange of the highest magnitude. I just know it.



We will see lots and lots of statues with nekkid people. 

Since we've never traveled to the birthplace of 2 of my favorite movies (Godfather I and II), I'm going in with some preconceived ideas. I want to see how my beliefs match up with reality, so I'm going to share them with you now. I'll circle back after the trip to tell you how they compare.


Right now, here are the 4 things I know about Italy:

Venice-600.jpg1. Italian Food

Since this country is best known as the home of Little Caesar's and its Cousin Domino's we will eat pizza. A lot of pizza. And it will all be good, because it is Italian Pizza served in the land of its birth. Like Chicken Fried Steak served in its native land, Fort Worth.


2. Italian Drivers

They will be crazier than the cab drivers in NYC. The traffic will make mid-town Manhattan at rush hour look like a lazy Sunday afternoon in Cranfills Gap. I will never want to drive a car here, but I will admire their Mario Andretti (a good Italian) driving skills.   


3. Italian Culture

We will see lots and lots of statues with nekkid people. They will call it "Art" or the "Italian Renaissance," but what it will be is nekkid people in fountains, paintings, restaurant menus, billboards and T-shirts. I will probably buy an Italian T-shirt with a nekkid person on it, but Charlotte will only let me wear it when I am killing fire ants at the ranch and she is back home in Colleywood.  


4. Italian Phrases I'll Probably Need

Cole (our world-traveling son) has already advised us to buy a Lonely Planet Italian Phrase Book for common expressions. I will impress our Italian hosts and traveling companions because I'll know how to say:

* "I'd like more pizza."

* "Where can I purchase ointment?" (pointing at rash)   

* "Can you hook a brother up with some more pizza?"

* "My wife doesn't have that kind of money. Please give the ransom note to Mr. Tyler."

* "Who do you have to kill to get a little more pizza?"

I'll report back on the trip when we return. But seriously y'all, if you don't hear from me in a while ask Gene Tyler why he's dragging his feet on that ransom note.


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Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

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By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

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