Don't Try This At Home

Ranch Re-Do

By Bob on April 29, 2013 2:19 AM

For some unknown reason, Charlotte and I love spring projects. Not just any project mind you. Oh-to-the-hell-NO. Instead of sensible stuff like cleaning out the garage, or filing that patent application on our cold-fusion generator, we do something BIG. 

Like remodeling the ranch house. 

You wanna project? We got a project! Home on the Range-600.jpg

It's not like we're in any rush. The single-story house was built in the 1940s and it's been in the family for more than a decade. Charlotte and I wound up with it after my father passed away. Up until that time, it'd been his exclusive hangout and it served him well. 

Dad would have been the first to tell you that interior design wasn't his first love. Family legend is that he went to a garage sale and purchased the contents of a small frame house for $200 cash - and furnished the entire ranch house. He was the original one-stop-shopper. 

For $100 more, he got a boat and trailer. They're setting in the big barn. Not to be confused with the little barn. Cattle pens. Garage. Wash house. Carport. Or storm shelter. 

This thing isn't just a house

It's an effin compound (religious zealots need not apply).

You can hardly see the machine gun towers.Ranch Compound-600.jpg

Sooooo....where do we start this adventure?

Ranch Re-Do

The Summer Blockbuster Movie Trailer!

With a trailer of course! If our Ranch Re-Do was a summer blockbuster, here's how the preview would look.


Like I said, there's a lot to do.

We're going to replace some drywall and paint.

Which color do you like?Paint Samples-600.jpg

The 1960's kitchen is going to get an overhaul.

When the last time avocado was a color choice?Ranch Kitchen-600.jpg Ranch Kitchen Floor-600.jpg

And the furniture...

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.Dining Room-600.jpg Couch-600.jpg

And electronics...

State of the art...in 1969!



And light fixtures...

Wagon wheel anyone?Wagon Wheel Light Fixture-600.jpg

Have got to go!

It'll be a lot of work,but in the end, Charlotte and I should have a comfortable place to kick back and enjoy the Texas countryside. So stop the newspaper. Put the mail on hold. And saddle up. We'll take you on our journey.

From what I've seen so far, the movie trailer has it just about right.

It's gonna be a Wild Ride!


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Diabetes-Friendly Chicken Burrito Bowl

ChickenBurritoBowlEverydayDiabetes 600.jpg

By Laura Cipullo and Lisa Mikus, authors of Everyday Diabetes Meals
Image credit: Colin Erricson

Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.


If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.

If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.

Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.

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