Charlotte and I have seen this mobile home lot countless times on our road trips through Mississippi. You may never need a double-wide, but if you do I'd recommend not haggling with this guy.
#3 Never play cards with a man named "Doc" or eat at a place called "Mom's".
We're only three weeks into 2010 and I can already tell you what's going to happen the rest of the year. "Bob," you might ask, "how are you able to tell the future. Is it because you have a psychic gift like Dionne Warwick?"
Internets, sadly I do not have the psychic gift. I have, however, lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth area for more than half a century. This of course qualifies me to tell you what's going to happen. It isn't hard. All you've got to do is pay attention. And Boomers, I've been paying attention.
This Stuff Will All Happen in Dallas/Ft. Worth in 2010
The Arlington Cowboys will scrap their plans to find a new kicker. Instead, Jerry Jones will create a new reality show, So, You Think You Can Kick. Big Jerr will pocket another $100 million from copyrighting his new catch-phrase, "Clean Out Your Locker!"
Nobody does compliation videos better than the guys at JibJab. Their send up of one of the suckiest years on record won't make you nostalgic, but it will make you laugh. Check it out.
I like Mike Nesmith, I really do. First off, he's a TEXAN. If you want to stop right there it's OK with me. But ask yourself this question. What other band had four, count 'em, FOUR albums in the Top 10 in the same year? The Monkee's.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Trouble is, these guys didn't have a second act as this video painfully illustrates. I don't know which is worse, the cheesy special "effects," bad choreography or the song. You decide and let me know.
So Dionne Warwick calls me just after Christmas to give me the news. "Bob," she says, "Would you like to know what's going to happen in 2010?"
"Would I?!" I eagerly replied.
"Well, would you?" she answered in a snippy tone. Dionne has never understood the proper use of the rhetorical question, so I am patient with her. I continued.
"Yes, great visionary of the Psychic Friends Network and aunt of former-crack head Whitney Houston, tell me what we can expect in 2010 so I can share it with all my Baby Boomer friends on the Internets."
Here's what she told me.
By year's end, we'll be watching, American Mad Men, So, You Think You Can Curb Your Enthusiasm...
With its $237 million budget, and 12 years of production, the story behind James Cameron's "Avatar" easily eclipses the film's plot. But for a film that's far more interested in drowning the audience in drool-worthy special effects and epic 45-minute battle scenes than anything else, that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Hippies saw it in the night sky, but couldn't grasp it. Pink Floyd set up a base camp, but abandoned the mission. Now decades later and miles above our heads, director Duncan Jones has found the coordinates of self-discovery in his debut film. Destination: "Moon."
Here's all you need to lose the weight you put on over the holidays - if you don't mind looking like an alien and dehydration doesn't scare you.
I'm not sure, but I think the same people might have invented the Snuggie. Check it out and see what you think.