WOW is it 2016 already?! That means it's time to wipe the blood smudges off the old crystal ball and see what we're in for this year.
Before I get to that, let me APOLOGIZE for getting all of my 2015 predictions WRONG.
In my defense, I really DID think 2015 was the year for the Zombie invasion and I'm sitting on a crap load of T-Shirts that say, I Survived the 2015 Zombie Apocalypse. I'm paying for my mistake. Trust me. Looks like Cole will have to unload 'em in the estate sale when I've gone to that big ol' blog in the sky.
On the positive side, 2015 didn't suck nearly as bad as I predicted.
Like you, I'm bummed we didn't get pizza delivery by teleportation, or a permanent ban on Taylor Swift music, but some good things did happen. Remember when Tony Romo beat Tom Brady in the Super Bowl? Wait...that DIDN'T happen? I've gotta stop getting my drugs predictions from that guy in the parking lot of the Euless Wal-Mart.
Not to worry, he's given me some tips I KNOW will come true this year. Sitting up here in my secret lair (It's really just a rusted out VW Microbus off Highway 10), I see the faint glimmer of hope. It's either that or the sunlight reflecting off the dull yellow eyes of my tweaked out muse.
When I asked for his 2016 guidance, his lips curled into what he'd call a smile and he said, "Buckle up, buttercup. Shit's about to get real."
The Boomer Brief "Get a Cave with a View" Predictions for 2016 
1. Trump Elected President
You've seen this coming for a long time, haven't you? C'mon, anybody who makes Crazy Eyes look sane is bound to get his day (or 4 years) in the sun. It's science. And what's not to love? The WALL WITH MEXICO put 10,000 South Texans to work and his general election campaign slogan, "I'M BETTER THAN YOU," really energized his base. Sorry Hillary, Ted, Jeb and Bernie. This one goes to The Donald.
2. Hoverboards Take Off
Not really HoverBOARDS, but HoverDRONES. Probably the best invention since the Zune. Now you can strap a child, spouse or pet to their own HoverDRONE and fly them anywhere you'd like. The gadget is wildly popular with people who have high-maintenance mothers-in-laws, houseguests who've overstayed their welcome and - you guessed it - President Trump. You didn't expect all those deportees to walk back did you? Send in the drones!
3. Uncle Rico Named Dallas Cowboys QB
I know what you're thinkin'...first Greg Hardy, now this...but at least he's not a wife/girlfriend/grandma beater. Rico got off to a great start at his first press conference when he looked into the cold, dead eyes of Dale Hansen and said, "How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?" When Hansen reminded him that Dallas is flatter than a Paris Coffee Shop pancake, he pointed to an amply-endowed Cowboys Cheerleader and said, "Ohhhh, man I meant those mountains." The Cowboys go 0-16 in 2016.
4. Breaking Downton Abbey
The merger of Breaking Bad and Downtown Abbey is a HUGE crossover hit for AMC and PBS. In the first episode, the Dowager Countess rats out Walt to keep Mr. Bates from returning to prison (again) and Jesse shanks her. Like you, it's been something I've wanted to see for a long, long time. All I can say is, Best. Series. Ever.
I'll report back next year when I'll probably be trying to unload my supply of "I'M BETTER THAN YOU" T-shirts.
I knew I should've kept my money in that Zune franchise.
Related
Take A Pea aka What to Expect in 2013
The Cloudy Crystal Ball Predictions for 2012
Prepare your own Mexican quick fix with this Chipotle-inspired bowl. Carbs are moderated by filling the bowl with beans, extra veggies and chicken. No need for rice, since the beans count as carbs.
Tips:
If you love tomatoes, increase the quantity to 1/2 cup, but note that the carbohydrates will also increase.
If preparing this recipe for one person, cut all of the ingredients in half. Or simply prepare the full recipe up to the end of step 2 and store leftover chicken and vegetable-bean mixture in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave on High for 1 to 2 minutes, or until heated through, and continue with step 3.
Health Bite: The iron, calcium, magnesium, manganese, copper and zinc in black beans help to keep bones strong and healthy.
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